One component of school success involves successful relationships between families and the school. As it is said, “Parents are our partners in education.” This means that when students are struggling, school leaders and teachers need to reach out to parents and caregivers to let them know, and parents and caregivers need to respond and support. Unfortunately, some parents, including Black parents, are not responding appropriately.
Last week, Facebook account user Alic Mo wrote this about her son. “HE BEEN SUPER CLOWNING … Sooo I CAME AS A CLOWN TO SEE WASSUP & CLOWN AROUND TOO). The post included several clown face emojis. Also, this Black mother posted a picture of herself wearing a multicolored clown wig, clown makeup with statements taped to her chest, such as “HERE 2 CLOWN AROUND!” and “______’s MOM.” She also posted pictures of her son in various classes where he looked crushed and embarrassed. I cannot understand why this was allowed.
Some Black parents aren’t trying to break generational harm but perpetuate it. Don’t get me wrong. This student should not misbehave at school, but this is not the answer. Even if this mom’s actions resulted in changed behavior, the student was emotionally harmed, and this mom disrupted the environment for other learners. So, you believe your son is acting like a clown, so you go to school dressed as one? As my grandma used to say, “Make it make sense.” This parent should have been stopped at the front office and informed that she could not enter class dressed like that.
What should parents do?
If parents have concerns about their children’s behavior, they should first get all of the facts. This includes talking to the teacher, school administrators, and the child. The parent should also request the child’s discipline file from the beginning of the year up to this point. Many times, teachers don’t call home until it gets really bad, but it doesn’t mean the teacher has not been tracking prior offenses. Yes, the parents should pop up at the school unannounced. Parents need to contact the school to see if this is allowed. Some schools request visits be scheduled in advance; however, the child doesn’t need to know that it is scheduled. Last, parents need to get more involved at home. Many times we want to punish without truly getting to know our children and why they are doing what they are doing. This may also include participating in therapy or seeking support from the religious community.
Parenting through fear isn’t the flex we think it is. This is the type of parenting that gets parents cut off when children become adults.
Contact Indy Kids Winning reporter Educator Barnes at 317-721-2181 or shawntab@indyrecorder.com. Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, & TikTok @educatorbarnes.
Educator Barnes’ work is supported through a partnership between Indy Kids Winning and the Indianapolis Recorder. Visit indykidswinning.com to learn more.
