Incidents involving violence this week, including the shooting of a student on the campus of Purdue University, and the murder of a local pizza delivery man, showed that life can come to a tragic end without warning.
Therefore, the Recorder would like to share a column highlighting the importance of not letting arguments and violence overshadow what is most important in life.
Life is short.
Life is so short in fact, that we shouldn’t waste our precious time here on Earth sweating the small stuff or not being appreciative of the things that really matter.
I recently had a conversation with a very close friend of mine, who explained how she had a huge argument with her cousin. Apparently, my friend and her cousin have had a rather tumultuous relationship for years – the type that always consisted of arguing and the exchange of hurtful words. While their relationship over the years was tense, things never reached the boiling point because my friend would always be the one to concede or stop the argument. In her words, she was the one who “was the bigger person.”
That all changed recently.
My friend and her cousin got in such a heated argument that it took a third party to separate them before an actual physical fight ensued.
During the conversation I had with this particular friend, she was so passionate about telling me the exchange of mean-spirited words and their reactions to one another that I realized I didn’t know what actually caused the disagreement in the first place. When I asked what had caused the falling out, the response totally shocked me.
These two grown women were arguing over clothing that my friend had given her cousin’s child.
The cousin became angry because my friend gave her son clothing that wasn’t the Polo/Ralph Lauren brand. Sounds crazy, right?
Needless to say, I was completely taken aback. To ensure that I hadn’t heard things wrong, I asked for clarification: “You’re saying she was mad at you because you gave her young son an outfit that came from Target and not the Polo store,” I cautiously asked. Her response was “yes.” Either because I was in complete disbelief or simply wanted to confirm yet again, I asked another question. “Did she give you money and specifically ask you to buy her child something Polo?” My friend let out a deep sigh and said with a hint of frustration, “No. I was at the store, saw an outfit that I thought would be cute for her son and I bought it because I was thinking of him. It wasn’t his birthday or anything like that; it was just something I wanted to do.”
Utter disbelief on my part once more.
After hearing the reason for the argument, I better understood how things escalated. Through the purchase of a gift, my friend was displaying a random act of kindness, yet her cousin wasn’t grateful for the gesture. While that was certainly enough to constitute an argument, I reminded my friend that we can’t control other people’s feelings or emotions – we’re only responsible for ourselves.
I also told my friend that life is too short to dwell on such trivial things. If the cousin wanted to overreact about an item of clothing, then that’s something she’d have to deal with.
In the grand scheme of things, clothing or any other material possession aren’t what is important. Life is. Having healthy children is. Loving one another is. Things aren’t.
It’s unfortunate that for a woman (the cousin) who seemingly “has it all,” there are still elements of her life that are unhappy, dissatisfied or simply confused.
I don’t know about any of you reading this editorial, but for me life is too short to dwell on negativity. We should treasure life and all that it brings instead of losing sight of it and focusing on things that won’t give us eternal bliss.
I know we all want to succeed in life and have nice things, but the key is finding a balance. In finding that balance, we’ll all eventually realize that what we really seek transcends “things.” It’s all about putting things in perspective.
