The evangelical Christian world was rocked by the latest announcements involving the saga of embattled Bishop Eddie Long, pastor of the 25,000 member New Birth Missionary Baptist Church near Atlanta.
His wife Vanessa filed a petition for divorce to end their marriage of 21 years, saying it is “irretrievably broken,” that “there is no hope of reconciliation of the parties” and that the couple is “living in a bona fide state of separation.”
A short time later, a statement from the couple’s church attributed to Vanessa Long said she had changed her mind, adding, “I love my husband, believe in him and admire his courage.” Within a few hours, however, her attorney, Michael W. Tyler indicated that the divorce filing would indeed proceed.
Three days later Long appeared before his congregation, saying that he will go on an indefinite sabbatical from daily leadership of New Birth.
“I’m going to take a little time off to work with my family,” Long said during a televised church service.
Last week’s announcements came more than a year after allegations that Long used his lavish lifestyle and position as one of the nation’s most popular Black ministers to lure four young men into sexual relationships, despite his intense public opposition to homosexual relationships. Long has never admitted to any wrongdoing, and the cases were settled out of court. Details of the settlement were never disclosed.
During Sunday’s service, Long insisted that he loves his wife, that the two of them are not fighting and that his wife’s frustration is “not because of the allegations” against him. He attributed the divorce filing to the pressures of being a pastor’s wife.
“It’s been very difficult to her, some of the things that she’s had to endure,” he said.
A statement in Vanessa Long’s petition seemed to reflect that view.
“My filing follows years of attacks in the media that frustrated and overwhelmed me,” she stated. “I love my family and church family.”
Divorce can be a damaging blow to the ministry of virtually any minister.
“Many people say the clergy is supposed to set an example for lay families and their community, so divorce looks strange to them,” said Adair Lummis, a researcher with the Hartford Institute for Religion Research, and the author of studies about the topic of divorce among Protestant clergy.
Lummis added, however, that divorce can actually help some ministers become stronger and more effective in their counseling abilities, especially with those struggling to maintain a marriage.
“They could say, ‘Well, my marriage was not successful, but I can be much more sensitive to what you’re going through and would be able to give you better advice than someone who’s been happily married,'” Lummis said.
For generations biblical scholars have debated about what the proper Christian view of divorce should be. They often cite Scriptures that seem to offer a range of instruction on divorce, from outright condemning it, to approving it under certain circumstances, such as when a spouse commits adultery or becomes abusive.
Long’s legal problems very likely placed a strain on his marriage, but for many pastors, maintaining a marriage can be difficult even when life is at its best. Busy schedules, overseeing the needs of numerous congregation members and unexpected challenges of operating a church can be stressful for both pastors and their spouses.
Bishop T. Garrott Benjamin, pastor of Light of the World Christian Church, jokingly stated that the success of his 44 year marriage to wife Beverly has been built on him saying two words: “Yes, dear.”
On a serious note, he added that the key to having a strong marriage that survives adversity is keeping Christ at the center of it from the beginning.
“Christ has been the glue that has held our marriage together,” he said. “So whenever we have drifted apart, that foundation in Christ would bring us back together.”
Pastor Jeffrey A. Johnson Sr. of Eastern Star Church said that before he and his wife of 25 years got married they made sure they had the same values about marriage and family.
“Sharon and I just decided that no matter what happens in our lives and in our relationship, we would not get a divorce,” he said. “So whatever goes on, divorce is not an option. We turn to God’s word, prayer and quality time with each other.”
Of course, Long is not the first nationally known minister to make headlines with a divorce. Other well known pastoral breakups include the 1995 divorce of Marvin and Vickie Winans, who according to a statement “simply drifted apart,” and the 2000 split of prominent California minister Curtis McClendon and his wife of 16 years.
Many may also recall the 2007 breakup of evangelist Juanita Bynum and Bishop Thomas Weeks, which came after he allegedly abused her in an Atlanta parking lot.
Robert A. Schuller, the nationally known leader of Crystal Cathedral Ministries, had a divorce in 1984 and remarried the following year. Jim and Tammy Faye Baker divorced in 1992, a few years after he was imprisoned following a scandal that involved the misuse of millions of dollars from his ministry and an affair with a secretary.
Popular televangelists Charles Stanley, Joyce Meyer and John Hagee have also experienced divorce.
All of the ministers named above were able to maintain their ministries, or build new ones following their divorce. Long’s challenges, however, seem to be compounded by the unique nature of the charges that were brought against him. They affected his reputation in a way that more familiar acts of corruption such as stealing money, or an affair with a female acquaintance, could not.
Reaction from Indianapolis residents to Long’s situation this week ranged from sympathy to satisfaction.
“He’s getting what’s coming to him,” Wilson Allen said bluntly. “How much tax-exempt church money went to those ‘boys’ to hush up a sex scandal?”
Pat Guyton-Washington, who studied at the local Breeding Bible Institute and is herself divorced, said prayer is needed for Long and his family at this time.
“Whatever he is dealing with is between him and God,” she said. “Whatever we do in the dark will always be brought into the light. So, who can really cast a stone at one man whose issues have become broadcast news? Maybe we haven’t done the exact same thing, but we are all guilty of something and need to lift each other up in prayer as we repent and seek forgiveness.”
She encouraged people to remember “We Fall Down,” a popular Donnie McClurkin song with a verse that says, “A saint is just a sinner who fell down, and got up.”
Angela M. Smith, who says she was once married to a minister who had affairs with men, said she understands the “pain and humiliation” of Vanessa Long.
“If someone in religious leadership does not truly believe the Scriptures that they preach, the least they could do is stop making a mockery of the Word and bringing unwarranted pain and affliction upon innocent people,” Smith said. “Long’s ministry can survive only with true repentance and reconciliation.”
