I remember when the story of Kemba Smith was publicized. I was in my junior year of high school and my sister was a freshman in college. As she often did when educating us on pertinent issues, our mother sat us down and in great detail told us Smith’s story.
I specifically remember her saying early on during the conversation, “This can easily happen to either of you if you don’t make the right choices.” Needless to say, those words got my attention. Perhaps the situation resonated with me because Smith attended a Historically Black College and University, my sister was already at one, and I planned on attending a Black school myself. Regardless, mm had my undivided attention.
As my mother began to explain what happened to Smith, many things stood out in my mind, particularly the mandatory sentencing aspect. It scared me to know that despite all the good I did and my never getting in trouble with the law, I could go to jail for a long time simply if I hung with the wrong people or made a bad mistake.
“Always be careful who you associate yourselves with,” my mother warned Wendy and I. (She also advised our brother of the same thing.). Other warnings were “Be sure to stay true to yourself and never do something that isn’t well-thought out” and “Learn from other people’s mistakes.”
I’m glad I listened to my mother’s advice because it certainly prevented me from making some bad choices. Of course I did the things many teens and college students do – some not necessarily the wisest – but I’m sure my outcome could have been a lot worse had I not heeded the words of mom.
When Carolyn Mosby-Williams initially told me about her friend Kemba Smith, I was ecstatic to have the opportunity to interview her, after all, I followed the case over the years and even lectured my teenage relatives and students about the importance of good decision making – often citing Kemba’s situation.
However, to be honest, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect of Kemba upon our meeting. I didn’t know if she’d be an angry woman mad at the world for imprisoning her for over six years, or if she was going to capitalize on the victim role and never assume responsibility for her actions.
It pleased me to know that when I actually met Kemba, she was neither. Instead she was very warm and inviting. Her faith in God was evident and she assumed full responsibility for the things in her past. She and Carolyn (who have known each other for less than a year, yet are great friends) joked openly with each other and Kemba’s husband Patrick was just as kind as his wife.
My time with Kemba was somewhat like a circle finally closing. Although I never knew her personally, she impacted my life in many ways. Through my knowledge of her story, I in turn, was able to positively impact the lives of others. That’s what life is all about – using your experiences and motivating factors to help others. That’s what Kemba does each time she speaks publicly about her past. That’s what she does every time she rallies for incarcerated women who like her, are victims of the system. And that’s what she does when she’s advocating against mandatory sentencing.
Though Kemba had a stable life with a good foundation, she still battled insecurities. Her insecurities altered her ability to make informed decisions about her life. This is why effective communication with youth is so important. As adults, it’s our responsibility to not just scratch the surface when discussing issues of concern with children – we have to dig deep and go into great detail. Doing so can literally be the difference between life and death.
