When Carolyn Mosby thinks of her mother, Carolyn Brown Mosby, naturally she thinks of her time in the Indiana Senate, but it’s the personal, fond memories she holds close.
“She was always telling me to be confident and comfortable in my own skin. As a child I was tall and skinny and kind of awkward. She taught me to not be self-conscious,” said the daughter who now lives in Indianapolis and is the president and CEO of the Indiana Minority Supplier Development Council. “She made sure I had dance lessons and modeling lessons so that I would be graceful and comfortable with my height and my build.”
Mosby will be sharing those memories and more during the inaugural Remembering My Mom Brunch on May 4. As guests enjoy their meal, they will hear words of encouragement from Rev. Pamela Thomas, who has also lost her mother. Each woman will also get the opportunity to share something special about their deceased mother.
Mosby has regularly attended an event similar to Remembering My Mom in her hometown of Gary, Ind., but wanted to bring the concept to Indianapolis.
“We’d bond and share experiences and challenges we were all going through in the wake of losing our mothers,” said Mosby. “I know a lot of women who have lost their moms so I wanted to have something here in Indianapolis for us to support each other.”
Some women attending may have lost their mother months ago and others, like Mosby, have had to deal with their mother’s absence for over 20 years. Despite the range in time or stage of loss, Mosby said Remembering My Mom is a joyous occasion meant to be an opportunity for attendees to bond.
“We don’t have the opportunity to spend time with our mother or take her out to dinner. We’re coming together to reflect,” said Mosby.
As a licensed mental health counselor with the St. Vincent Stress Center, Kimble Richardson thinks talking about a deceased mother is a good idea.
“Mother’s Day accentuates people’s loss, especially people who had a good relationship with their mothers. The pang and yearning doesn’t ever go away, but it’s good to reminisce,” said Richardson. “Seek a supportive ear.”
In addition to talking about their mothers, Richardson suggests people not remain secluded but to instead make plans ahead of time to spend Mother’s Day doing something happy or constructive.
“Think about what your mother would like for you to do,” added Richardson.
People can also do an activity to honor their mother, such as attend the Remembering My Mom Brunch, or honor other women in their lives who have played a mothering role such as a grandmother, aunt, sister or close friend.
Those who are suicidal, depressed or simply cannot cope with the death of their mother, Richardson suggests they seek counseling.
When dealing with the death of a mother, Carol Braden, executive program director at Brooke’s Place, a nonprofit organization providing support and services to grieving children and families, said people should not forget about kids.
“Losing a mother is hard on kids. When we’re children or even teenagers, we’re still developing. Any kind of death or trauma impacts kids more,” said Braden.
Loved ones should note that kids react differently to loss and should expect behavior and grief to parallel maturity levels. People should also not think kids aren’t grieving – it just may not manifest itself like adult grief.
During this Mother’s Day holiday, fathers should converse with kids about their feelings and on Mother’s Day, Braden suggests kids do a fun activity.
Braden knows that in many families, fathers may not be around, therefore kids are left to be cared for by other family members. Braden’s advice to caretakers is to consistently keep roles clear and make Mother’s Day about the kids and their mother.
“Let’s say it’s grandma or an aunt. They need to be the best grandma or aunt they can be – the best caretaker. Don’t try to be their mom,” said Braden. “The role is parent, but that’s different from being mommy.”
This year Mother’s Day is May 12 so there is still time for people to prepare for the day and make plans to make the holiday one filled with happiness and fond memories.
“At some point in life you’re going to experience loss, but the good thing is that there are plenty of people out there who can support you. Come to the Remembering My Mom brunch. This is an opportunity to celebrate your mother,” said Mosby.
For more information about the brunch, visit Rememberingmymom.com. For grief counseling, contact St. Vincent’ Stress Center at (317) 338-4800 or visit Stvincent.org; or Brooke’s Place at (317) 705-9650 or Brookesplace.org.
2013 Remembering My Mom Brunch
– May 4
– 2126 N. Meridian St.
– 11 a.m. to 1 p.m.
– Brunch is free, but an RSVP is required
– Rememberingmymom.com
