It’s OK to ask …
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7
This is dedicated to my community of friends, as we remind each other it’s okay to ask.
Recently a friend told me about a conversation she had with someone about me. She told the person, “I need to be like Sheila.” I laughed and told her that I needed to be like her. You need to understand that this particular friend is one of my spiritual rocks, ride or die, got my back, truth telling, always on point, loyal and everything else.
She went on to tell me what she meant, “No matter what is going on in your life, you will never hesitate to reach out and ask for prayer and support.” She shared that God is teaching her that this is something she needs to do — reach out and ask for support when she needs it. I completely understood her point. It’s easy to support, pray for, encourage and lift up everyone else, but sometimes we don’t rush to ask for the same support. There’s this warped view that reaching out and showing our vulnerability is a sign of weakness.
It’s OK to ask
Jesus demonstrated the importance of being in community and being there for each other. He spent most of his ministry reaching out to others and developing community with the 12 disciples. The early Church demonstrated the importance of community by looking out for each other and making sure everyone had all that they needed. (Acts 2:43-45) All they had to do was ask.
Within my circles, for the most part, I was the one who would be the first to congratulate, encourage, support and lift up my crew. I recognize this is who I authentically am and it literally gives me joy to do so. But it wasn’t always easy to ask for that same support. It creates relationships where the giving is one sided, denying the opportunity for a genuine reciprocal friendship where you help each other. When I was younger, my view was that as a friend, it was always important to be that strong person. Now, let’s be clear, this doesn’t mean that I share everything with everyone, for me it is sharing with a community that I trust. It may not always be the same group of people, sometimes I have been led to share with the person I least expect like someone I may have just met. But it often turns out to be the one who gives me the encouragement I need.
One of the most authentic tests of a friendship or relationship is someone who loves me — and accepts my strengths and my struggles. I also do the same for them. It shatters the image of perfection and frees us to be genuine. If we truly love each other, we will give each other the space for the complete imperfectness of who we are. Yet you will also give me the chance to be the same for you. Everyone needs and deserves that space of grace. Those who encourage need to be encouraged, too.
It’s OK to ask for prayer, encouragement and support when you need it.
“So encourage each other to build each other up, just as you are already doing.”
1 Thessalonians 5:11 Living Bible (TLB)
All you have to do is ask …
Asking,
Minister Sheila P. Spencer
