In the six years I’ve been blessed to be a writer for the Indianapolis Recorder Newspaper, a disturbing number of people have shared their disillusionment and frustration with the church as an institution.
“Christ is my man and I still love God, but I can’t stand those toxic church folks,” is the kind of statement that I’ve heard from people who no longer participate at their church.
These brothers and sisters fall in the category of what I call “homeless Christians.” They are believers who still desire to follow Christ but currently have no church home. A number of them have also allowed mistreatment they received by a few people in one congregation to cast doubt about their entire faith and reject all churches.
Reasons people have given for leaving a church are as plentiful as the stars in the sky. Those I’ve heard have ranged from “the church is not the same with new leadership” or “the choir director never lets me have a solo,” to “the pastor is a skirt chaser” and my all time favorite, “all the pastor wants to talk about is money.”
Some people correctly depart from churches for legitimate reasons. They feel a prompting from the Holy Spirit to leave when they are no longer being fed spiritually, they witness a severe misappropriation of funds that causes visible damage to the church, they notice that church leaders are talking less about Christ and more about “religion,” ministry leaders have consistently brushed off their concerns or they simply move to another city.
Regardless of the reason why one leaves a congregation, the decision to not search for another one is a major miscalculation. A Christian without a church home becomes a “lone ranger” in their spiritual life; they are like a soldier without an army, or an athlete without a team.
Although the Lord wants us to have a personal relationship with him, he also encourages us to be a part of a church home so that we can benefit from the fun fellowship opportunities, insightful teaching (and joint study) of the word and the encouragement we receive from other believers. And maybe, just maybe, we’ll be inspired to do something for someone else by encouraging them or serving in an outreach ministry.
Many individuals, including myself, have been blessed to be longtime members of a congregation they love and have no intention of leaving. Others, however, have found themselves on a search for the “perfect church.”
Unfortunately however, these brothers and sisters are chasing a mirage in the desert because the “perfect church” does not exist. Looking for the “perfect church” is like looking for the “perfect marriage partner” or the “perfect job.” Perfect churches do not exist because they are operated by people, and people are imperfect.
For those who are disillusioned with the institution of the church, I humbly ask you to remember to not base your faith in Christ on the acts of a few ignorant people who have offended you.
To those who are looking for a church home, I encourage you to keep looking and never give up. It’s not necessary to find one tomorrow, but do not tarry too long because the enemy can stir up mental and emotional distress with a believer who is in isolation.
Indianapolis is blessed to have so many wonderful churches for different types of people. There is a loving congregation somewhere in this city that is waiting for you with open arms. Here’s a brief guide that might help you find it:
Consider the leadership: When searching for a church home check out the pastor. When he/she preaches, are you engaged and uplifted by what they say, or do you find yourself daydreaming about a person at last night’s party? Does the pastor give you a greater understanding of God’s word? Again, pastors have imperfections like the rest of us so you might have to base your decision on whether the pastor’s strengths outweigh his/her weaknesses. Your new pastor might preach like a house on fire but outside the pulpit they are somewhat distant or as serious and uptight as a guard at Buckingham Palace. On the other hand your pastor might not be the most exciting preacher, but can personally encourage you in your time of need and has a fun personality. It’s also important to view other church leaders such as the board of deacons and trustees to see if the congregation has an organized structure that ensures administrative and financial accountability.
Consider your worship style: Praise and worship is a gift to God and a very important part of the church experience. Some people like to get down with fiery, intense and rhythmic praise music that has an R&B, jazz or blues flavor. Others, however, enjoy more traditional, laid back and sophisticated styles of praise and worship.
Consider the atmosphere: When you visited a church recently did you leave feeling better than you did when you entered? Are the ushers and church members friendly and helpful, or curt and impatient? Did you find a sense of unity among the members or an atmosphere of mistrust and gossip?
Consider size: For many believers size does matter, and rightfully so. Big and small churches both have advantages and disadvantages. Large churches might leave one feeling lost in the crowd and have limited access to pastors, but they have numerous opportunities to get involved in ministry and establish lasting friendships with other members. Smaller churches provide a more close-knit, family-like atmosphere, but might have limited resources for service opportunities and community outreach projects. Weigh the pros and cons and choose wisely.
