By LYNELL COOPER
More than 16 million people in the U.S. suffer from intimate partner abuse each year, according to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS). In 2024, Indiana was the only state rated an “F” for its resources and protections for survivors of intimate partner violence. Ninety-five percent of shelter requests went unmet, and the state still lacks firearm protection laws for abusers.
One of the oldest questions survivors face is, “Why didn’t they just leave?” As a survivor, professor of social work, and licensed clinical therapist, my response is usually “And go where?” or “And feel protected where?”
Institutions — including law enforcement, community organizations, places of worship and even families — must take inventory of who’s failing in this narrative.
Intimate partner violence, also known as domestic violence, is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault or other abusive behavior used in a systematic pattern of power and control by one partner against another, as defined by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV).
In Indiana, domestic violence — including stalking — affects one in two women and one in four men. Members of LGBTQ+ populations are two to four times more likely to experience abuse.
The likelihood of leaving safely is closely tied to shame, stigma, alienation from support groups, and lack of education and resources. Survivors often hide escalating abuse for fear of judgment or humiliation. The threat of cyberattacks, public outing, or reputational damage makes even a single social media post feel like a viral nightmare — whether it’s seen by thousands or just a few.
In some cultures, violence is minimized or excused, especially jealousy or verbal and emotional abuse. Whether it’s the church ministry leader, a teacher, a trusted neighbor, or a conversation at the elders’ kitchen table, everyone has a responsibility to remove roadblocks to help.
Housing disparities and limited government resources are not the only challenges. A paradigm shift is needed to confront harmful narratives such as “what happens at home stays at home,” “we don’t believe in therapy,” or gossiping about problems instead of building solutions.
Domestic violence prevention and intervention is not just an individual effort. It is a family response, a community response, and a church response. When rooted in safety, accountability, and resources, this shift can lead to more survivors finding support — whether that means preserving family and implementing change that creates rehabilitation and safety or leaving without losing their lives.
Lynell Cooper is a survivor, licensed clinical therapist, professor of social work, and doctoral student. She focuses on family preservation and addressing systems of oppression in Indianapolis. Contact her at lcooper@uindy.edu and on LinkedIn @lwcooperlcsw.
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