There was an article published in this month’s The Atlantic that has generated a lot of conversation; be it in support of or opposition to the subject matter.
The article’s headline read: “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All.”
Instantly I was interested.
Rather than read the actual article first, I did something different and read other people’s opinion of the article. After reading a variety of viewpoints, I knew it was time to read the piece for myself.
To better understand the article, it is important to understand the person who wrote it, Anne-Marie Slaughter. Slaughter is currently a professor of politics and international affairs at Princeton University. She has also served in other capacities at Princeton, including dean, however it is her stint as the first female director of policy planning at the State Department that some may interpret as her professional acclaim.
In her opinion piece, Slaughter writes of the conflicting circumstances many women find themselves in as they strive to excel professionally and personally.
At 53-years-old, Slaughter was raised during a time much different than today. During her young adult years, feminism was at its height and women advocated for fairness and opportunities. During her time and perhaps a generation after her, women worked hard to prove that they were just as good, if not better than their male counterparts. For many women, part of proving their professional acumen, meant downplaying their personal lives and even their desire to have children or be attentive wives.
Fast forward to December 2011. Slaughter “seemed” to have it all: a great job, a husband, two healthy children, yet something was missing. She realized she rarely saw her children and she questioned the fairness of her husband being the primary parent throughout her continuously escalating career that consisted of being home only on weekends.
It was then that she left her position at the State Department. Not to become a stay-at-home, mom though. Instead she “reduced” her workload to teaching a full course load at Princeton, writing regular print and electronic articles, giving 40 to 50 speeches per year, and appearing regularly on various television and radio shows. Oh…I forgot to mention the new academic book she’s also working on.
Even with her reduced workload and more time spent with family, Slaughter still doesn’t believe she “has it all.”
In the article, Slaughter writes, “I still strongly believe that women can “have it all” (and that men can too). I believe that we can “have it all at the same time.” But not today, not with the way America’s economy and society are currently structured.”
Not today…not with the way America’s economy and society are currently structured?
That statement makes me scratch my head and wonder what, if anything, would ever be enough for Slaughter, a woman who describes herself as “highly educated, well-off (and) privileged.”
If you are highly educated, make great money and you have a “doting” husband and healthy children, what more could you want? What does “having it all” really mean and at what cost are you willing to get it?
Obviously having it all varies from person to person.
Here’s an example.
I know a woman who works in education. She is unmarried, and has a 3-year-old daughter. This woman doesn’t have a luxury vehicle, nor does she live in a mansion. By most people’s standards, she lives a pretty regular life.
I asked her if she ever thought she could have it all.
Her response might surprise some people. She said she already felt she “had it all.”
For this woman, having it all was simply being in good health, having a job, having a healthy child and being able to adequately take care of herself and her daughter.
That was it.
Most people may have assumed that having it all for this educator would include a husband, a luxury vehicle and indispensible money. While she acknowledged those things would be nice, not having them didn’t make her life undesirable.
Having it all and actually knowing what “it all” is are fluid concepts. It really depends on whom you ask.
If Slaughter doesn’t feel she has it all with her self-proclaimed “privileged” life, she would probably shriek at the educator’s theory of what “it all” is.
I suppose that “it all” really is subjective and depends on whom you ask. My definition of having it all may be totally different than yours. Yet yours may be totally in line with Slaughter’s. It really just depends.
I’m interested in knowing what you think “having it all” is. Post a comment on our Facebook page at facebook.com/IndianapolisRecorder and let us know how you define “having it all.”
