At a very young age, we are told not to give in to peer pressure and to “just say no,” as if it is some simple task easily obeyed by every teenager.
The advice often given is to pick “good” friends and hang out with the right crowd, stay involved in many activities, and stand up for what one believes. Although each is good advice, actually doing these things is more difficult than one might expect.
Most things in life are not black and white. Life contains many grey areas. So when I think about what it means to pick “good” friends, I think about how judgmental it would be to say, “You’re not good enough for me.”
Nevertheless, associating with people with the same morals and values can make one more accountable for his or her actions. I am thankful I have very supportive friends who share my values; consequently, I am not put into situations that cause me to have to combat peer pressure. Still, I do believe that a person who does not share all the same views can be a good friend.
For example, if a guy has friends who smoke cigarettes, but he makes it clear he does not smoke, they understand his position and are still there for him when he needs them, they are not bad friends. Therefore, the advice of choosing “good” friends is helpful, but somewhat simplistic and short sighted.
People also suggest that being involved will be the solution to avoiding peer pressure. While that can be true, many people who participate in various clubs, sports, and other extracurricular activities can just as easily fall into bad behavior. Being involved is not enough. Teenagers must be motivated and dedicated enough to be able to see how making poor choices can have serious repercussions.
The most important, yet difficult advice to follow is to stand up for your beliefs. Teens often hear, “Even though it seems everyone is doing it, they really are not.” What does that matter to a girl who knows she is the only one of her friends that does not drink? To her it will still seem as if “everyone” is doing it. Avoiding peer pressure is not easy; one must have confidence in herself and commit to building her own character.
It is necessary to take advantage of every opportunity one has to defend his or her beliefs. A wise person once said, “If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything.” If a person learns to defend his or her values in small situations, it will be easier to “just say no” if the time comes when the stakes are higher. Regardless of the behavior, a good friend will not judge someone for not participating in something he or she believes is wrong.
Peer pressure is a challenge for all teens. Even though some people may think it is a difficult problem to avoid, it is possible. As long as we hold on to our own beliefs and do not worry about the judgment of others, we can be leaders and living examples for doing what is right.
Editor’s note: Views expressed in this column are the writer’s and not necessarily those of the Recorder Newspaper.
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