The holidays can be a time of cheerful enjoyment and much needed, work-free relaxation for some. However the hustle and bustle of shopping, parties and seasonal stress can bring out the Scrooge in all of us. Bah humbug.
The emotional toll of over-the-top demands from your children and spouse, or the overwhelming feelings of loneliness for those without family to spend the season with can really do a number on one’s mental and spiritual well-being.
This is compounded, for those suffering from seasonal affective disorder, a form of depression that is triggered by cold, dark winter days. As a matter of fact, Dec. 21 happens to be one of the “darkest” days of the year.
According to the Mayo Clinic, those who feel lonely or isolated should reach out to others by attending community, religious and social events. Pastor Ross Tyler of St. John’s United Church of Christ is holding a Blue Christmas Service for those seeking refuge and support.
Pastor Tyler says he was inspired to start conducting this type of church service 20 years ago to encourage those who may be suffering with the hopeful message that during our darkest moments God is with us.
“I pray the people that are there worshipping will discover that sense of presence even in the midst of tears,” said Tyler.
Check out these other tips from the Mayo Clinic to help lift holiday spirits:
Acknowledge your feelings.
If someone close to you has recently died or you can’t be with loved ones, realize that it’s normal to feel sadness and grief. It’s OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it’s the holiday season.
Be realistic.
The holidays don’t have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can’t come to your home, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videos.
Set aside differences.
Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don’t live up to all of your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they’re feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression too.
Stick to a budget.
Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don’t try to buy happiness with gifts. Try these alternatives: Donate to a charity in someone’s name, give homemade gifts or start a family gift exchange.
Plan ahead.
Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That’ll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.
Learn to say no.
Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can’t participate in every project or activity. If it’s not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
Don’t abandon healthy habits.
Don’t let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don’t go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks. Continue to get plenty of sleep and physical activity.
Take a breather.
Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.
Seek professional help if needed.
Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.
The Blue Christmas Service
The Blue Christmas Service will be held Dec. 21 at 6 p.m. at St. John’s United Church of Christ, 7031 S. East St. Call (317) 881-2353 for more information.
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