Delen Williams says the morals of generosity, care and love were staples in her childhood home. As a young woman in her mid 20s, she wanted to become a mother and continue her family legacy of love and care.
Although medical reasons barred her from having biological children, Williams was later given the opportunity to adopt after many years as a foster parent.
Today, Williams is the proud adoptive mother of four African-American daughters who are now adults, and is hoping to adopt her caucasian foster child.
African-American adoption on the rise
“It’s been an interesting journey,” said Williams. “It takes a lot of patience and courage because you’re bringing all of their past situations with you and it’s difficult to undo within the first three to four years. A lot of people think they’re going to be the savior of the world, but you find out very quickly that (children) could care less.”
According to the Administration for Children and Families at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, in 2011, just 21.1 percent of Black children available for adoption found permanent homes, compared to the 63.8 percent figure for white children.
However, recent statistics suggest the amount of African-American children being adopted is on the rise. The Independent Adoption Center said 11 percent of their adoptive placements in the last three years have been African-American. The IAC adds “African-American or Black birthparents do not place their children for adoption any more frequently than any other ethnic or racial group in the U.S.”
Williams believes there are a variety of myths about adoption within the African-American community.
“It seems that a lot of (African-Americans) want babies, but there are many foster children who aren’t babies,” commented Williams. “(African-Americans) say ‘I don’t want any of those problems and they are already set in their ways.’ The African-American culture constantly thinks of adopted children as ‘bad kids.’”
Adoption costs differ by race
Adoption USA’s National Survey of Adoptive Parents by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services found 56 percent of adoptive parents paid no cost to adopt and only 29 percent paid less than $5,000 in 2013. However, many adoptive parents discover fluctuating costs depending on the race and ethnicity of the child.
In a recent report, one couple that desired children decided to adopt African-American boys due to the lower adoption costs. The couple found the fees associated with white and biracial adoption were $30,000 or more, while fees for African-American children were estimated at $17,000. Experts say the reason is due to supply and demand.
Behavioral challenges for some
Adoption USA’s National Survey also says 14 percent of adopted children age 6 and up exhibit problems with their social behaviors.
Williams built her adoptive family first with 10-year-old twin girls, then two other girls, one 12, the other a newborn. She said she had fostered the children for so long she didn’t want to surrender so she adopted them.
“My twins are very different from one another,” she said. “In their past homes, one of them was told how wonderful and beautiful she was and the other was told how bad she was. The ‘good’ twin was often told ‘that’s why we aren’t keeping you because of the ‘bad’ one.’ Immediately when she came into my home, she believed if she didn’t try to love me and if she acted terrible, she’d put herself out. She didn’t want to risk loving me and then be put out.”
Williams said she treats all of her children the same and learned to love them but to not automatically expect them to adhere to what she believes.
Gregg Ellis of Child Advocates said it is rare that a child enters the system without being traumatized to some extent. “They can be traumatized during the removal process or if there are allegations of abuse or neglect.”
Black Mom, white daughter
Three of Williams’ girls are now 23 years old and have graduated from college. Her other daughter, adopted as a newborn is now 20. Williams now seeks to formally adopt her younger caucasian foster daughter, a child who was assigned to her for two months, but has now been with her for three years.
“When people see us they think ‘why does she have her?’ It’s funny that when you see caucasian people adopting African-American children, they are the saviors,” said Williams. “I try to keep her in touch with her culture and not just immersed into the African-American community.”
Williams said most of her children have open adoptions. When she adopted her 20-year-old daughter, as a newborn in Gary, her biological parents did not want to be involved in her life, but the other children have somewhat of a relationship with their biological parents.
Adoption intimidation
The lengthy process of adoption can be intimidating. Lenette Williams-King, resource family director at White’s Residential and Family Services said there is an extreme need for African-American foster parents.
“For every horror story there are a million great stories,” said Williams-King. “The state requires all adults be licensed before they can become foster parents. The process can require numerous hours of training however if you think of the impact you could have on a child’s life over their lifetime, it’s worth it.”
White’s Residential and Family Services does a variety of exercises for prospective adoptive parents who may not have previous experience with children and services for those who are new to the emotional process of adoption.
“We offer training once a month on a topic relevant to new adoptive parents,” Williams-King said. “There is a six month waiting period to give people the experience of parenting.”
Williams said her parents, sisters and brothers welcomed her children and have been a strong family support system.
“I feel really strongly about adoption because it’s been poured into my spirit by my parents,” she said. “I found I can give them love and help them navigate the world. It makes me feel good that they’ve grown up and went to college that they all have come back and thanked me for what I’ve done for them. I’m just doing what God called me to do because I believe that was my calling.”
