“And there arose a sharp disagreement, so they [Paul and Barnabas] separated from each other.”
Acts 15:39 ESV
Conflict is considered a nasty word that conjures unpleasant thoughts and uncomfortable feelings. It often ends with undesirable and unwelcomed results—damaged or broken relationships. Conflict is not merely a nasty word. It is real; a natural, inevitable and widespread experience in human life.
It is a misconception to think the church or a religious organization should be a constant conflict-free environment. As one peruses the pages of Scripture, it is clear by numerous examples that conflict is unavoidable. When one follows the trail of scenarios of conflict in Scripture from the Garden of Eden unto the second advent of Jesus Christ and his victory at the battle of Armageddon, the conclusion is that conflict appears to be a permanent fixture of the human experience.
There are many definitions of conflict that have a range of intensity from merely being a difference of opinion to becoming a destructive powder keg. Regardless of its description, having a proper perspective of conflict is crucial because what is thought about it determines how one approaches it and will affect its possible outcome.
A starting point of view is understanding that conflict is not inherently sinful or bad. The sinfulness of conflict is not always the conflict itself. Often the sinfulness of it results from how we behave when a disagreement or tension arises. Unfortunately, conflict is generally viewed as something bad not bearing any potential benefit or good. But conflict can be God-purposed whether one is led into it to learn to how to trust him (Mark 1:12-13), or if one is confronted and challenged by it for character transformation and experiencing God-provided peace (Galatians 2:11-14).
Let me offer three benefits of conflict.
Conflict is an opportunity to learn. It offers an opportunity to learn how to solve common problems and work through differences in a way to honor and trust God and serve others. It is an opportunity for God to shape us and reverse patterns of thinking and behaving. It is an opportunity for people to grow in community. Conflict is an opportunity to develop real intimacy. People and religious communities can grow from matters of differing perspectives that are well-managed.
Conflict is reflective of leadership. It is either diminished or escalated by whether leaders know how to constructively respond to it. Leaders are able to model how to properly handle conflict, and lead others through it. This skill is a factor that determines conflicts being resolved and people being reconciled or vice versa. Leaders have to deal with and solve problems created or caused by people, or created or caused by themselves. It is a leader’s perspective and proper handling of conflict that creates an atmosphere conducive for solutions.
Conflict is about lordship. This makes conflict ultimately theological. Conflict is not about the individual; proving who is right or wrong, or who retains or gains power or control. It is about conflicting parties submitting their differences and concerns under the lordship of Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5c). The question in conflict is “Who will be lord in your conflict?” Never make conflict about you—your self-justification, self-protection or self-promotion.
“Now I appeal to Euodia and Syntyche. Please, because you belong to the Lord, settle your disagreement.” Philippians 4:2
Rev. Johnson A. Beaven III is senior pastor of Citadel of Faith Church of God in Christ. Contact him via email at jabeaven@gmail.com, or via Twitter @jbeaven. For more information, visit www.johnsonbeaven.com and www.CitadelCOGIC.com.
