The following question may seem simple, but the answer can be so profound.
Are you happy?
Meet Clete Ladd. As a young man, Ladd had issues with his identity. Lacking a father figure, Ladd’s grades declined in school, he experimented with drugs and he led a lifestyle that resulted in him being shot at and stabbed.
Through all of his struggles, however, today Ladd has found happiness.
“I met Dr. Ralph Dowe who used to be the director of the Wheeler Boys and Girls Club,” explained Ladd. “One day he found out I was selling some sunglasses that I had stolen and asked me ‘you know what, Clete? I thought you were honest,’ and walked away. It shocked me.”
Ladd began his journey to happiness from there, but also sought inspiration from his father-in-law and Martin University founder, Father Boniface Hardin who challenged him to find happiness through his life purpose.
“He (Hardin) asked me what was my purpose and I couldn’t tell him why I was here,” said Ladd.
Ladd, who also lives his happiness every day as the student and family services and community relations director for Indianapolis Metropolitan High School, has found his inner contentment by helping the community. However, some may pose the question how can happiness be defined?
Jacqualyn Green, psychologist, states many of her patients tend to search for happiness in things such as obtaining an advanced degree, getting married, or spending money on items, but in the end, they’re still not content; they’ve been chasing an illusion of what true happiness is.
“I think the problem occurs when people look outside themselves for something that’s internal. We’ve gotten really distracted so we’re chasing the stuff and we’re losing track of the significance of our communities, families, and spiritual relationships,” said Green.
She further states that Blacks tend to “seek” happiness more than other races, and that true happiness begins with taking a “glass half full” approach.
“I’d look at happiness on a scale because you can have different levels of happiness. I think a lot of that determines how we look at it,” added Green. “Having self-acceptance brings an appreciation of who you are and where you’re supposed to be in life. A lot of it is internal; it’s in how we interpret it.”
Green even tackles the issue of money bringing people happiness and firmly believes money does eliminate some of the hassle, but still does not guarantee true happiness when people strive to find happiness from “the outside in.”
Ladd has found happiness in realizing his purpose for life and helping families and students find their life’s purpose. Many of the issues his clients deal with include single parenting, low self-esteem, and low wages, lack of a proper diet or holding anger inside due to their circumstances. Fill in the blank with a problem and Ladd’s clients are probably unhappy about it.
“They’re feeling pressure because of socioeconomic issues, but also a sense of inadequacy,” explained Ladd.
Ladd works to help families develop positive coping skills to ultimately find happiness and encourages his clients to start with positive and healthy relationships with others while climbing the ladder to inner peace.
Green agrees with Ladd’s approach in stepping outside of oneself to help others, which she believes can bring about great happiness. She also urges people to redefine their spiritual relationship, take time to slow down and appreciate the positives in life, take action and ultimately know happiness comes from within.
Green believes finding happiness is easier said than done, but in the end it’s all about one changing their mind and deciding for themselves to be happy; it’s also about finding a balance with inner contentment.
“Happiness is on a spectrum. Sometimes you’re going to be more or less happy and sometimes you’re going to be totally unhappy. But if we were never unhappy, we couldn’t fully appreciate happiness. We do need both ends of the spectrum but be prepared to deal with them when they occur,” advised Green.
Note: Next week the Recorder will tackle the question “are your children happy?”
