I am still haunted by her sweet, sad voice — the anxious pleas of an 11-year old girl living in a home filled with domestic abuse.
She spent many days in her young life running and hiding beneath her bed, when violent fights broke out between her mother and father. She remembered, once, watching her dad chase her mother with a gun as her mother ran down the street, barely escaping with her life.
This little girl poignantly said to me, “I wonder… Why do I have to live like this? I haven’t done anything wrong. I’m just a child.”
When I recall her touching, youthful innocence, marred by devastating adult drama, it still makes me cry. What are we doing to our children when we allow abuse to reign in our homes, forever altering their sense of safety, security and love? Experts say children surrounded by abuse have the strongest risk factor for continuing abusive behavior into the next generation – becoming abusers or abuse victims.
They start believing that abuse is normal, and statistics bear that out. One in 10 high school students has been hit, slapped or physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Many teens are modeling behavior they learned at home.
However, abuse is not always physical. Sometimes it is mental, emotional or verbal abuse. Our tongues can be wicked, lashing out at people we profess to love, and the victims can be men or women.
Have you ever been abusive? The Domestic Violence Network defines domestic abuse as: “the use of power and control within an intimate relationship that threatens a person’s well-being.” Some red flags of relationship abuse include jealousy and possessiveness — someone controlling what you wear, who you are with, and isolating you from family and friends or someone texting you excessively and monitoring your every move.
Ten years ago, at WTHR (Channel 13), I launched a campaign called “Shattering the Silence” to bring the issues of domestic abuse, child abuse, and teen dating abuse “out of the shadows.” Over the years, we have directed people to resources for help and healing and urged the community to take action against abuse.
Abuse is not just somebody else’s problem. It is a community problem affecting our neighbors, friends, families and co-workers. Abuse contributes to crime and violence, spilling out onto our streets. If we don’t have healthy families, we don’t have healthy communities.
This summer, in honor of the 10th anniversary of our “Shattering the Silence” campaign, we urge you to join us. Take the pledge against abuse at wthr.com.
Let’s stop the cycle of abuse, starting with our children. Let’s say “No More!”
You can email comments to acain@wthr.com .
