Last week I took a much-needed vacation. While on the flight to my destination, I engaged in a fun-spirited conversation with the person sitting next to me. She and her husband were from Iowa and were celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary.
Throughout the five-hour flight, my off-and-on conversation with this woman included everything from celebrity gossip, fashion, our professions, and even crazy things we did in college. Once the woman dozed off, I began to catch up on some reading. When she awakened, I was reading a review on the book I’m a Pretty Little Black Girl. The review included a picture of the book’s cover that showed a fictional Black girl around the age of 6 with two ponytails and a big smile on her face.
Glancing at the magazine I was reading, my seatmate, who was white, inquisitively asked me why I felt such books were necessary. She didn’t ask the question in a mean-spirited or irritated way; she genuinely wanted to know the significance of such books. More specifically, she wanted to know why it was necessary to focus on race, rather than a book about being a pretty little girl. Her question reminded me of a conversation about race I had with a 60-something-year-old white male several months ago. The man, whom I respect very much wanted to know why some Blacks seemed to blame racism on everything bad that happens to them. An example he gave me was a Black friend of his who felt he didn’t secure a certain deal at work because the client found out he was Black. As was the case with the lady on the plane with me, this white male simply wanted a better sense of understanding about something unclear, thus puzzling to him. Neither person was trying to be negative in any way.
My response to the woman’s question was similar to the one I shared with the man earlier this year. I told her that although she seemed very open-minded and considerate, there are some things she may never fully understand because she hasn’t had certain experiences in her life. Since she was a white woman, she would never fully be able to comprehend what it feels like to be a Black woman, just as I will never know for certain how it feels to be white.
I explained to the woman that books that highlight positive attributes of Blacks are important for various reasons. Among them are the negative images that are portrayed of Blacks – past and present. During a trip to Germany a couple months ago, I visited the Lindt Chocolate Museum. Throughout the museum, there were different paintings, sculptures and texts about the history of chocolate. Every image in that museum that showcased Blacks was negative, showed Blacks in a subservient manner, or boldly made a mockery of Blacks. Every image. While I understand that history is history and we can’t rewrite it, imagine if an insecure young Black girl saw such displays. How would she feel? How would she feel about the images of Black females today; the ones that feature scantily clad women or ghetto, gum-popping women (admittedly many such portrayals are done at the hands of other Blacks)? How does a young Black girl feel when she sees images, movies, or commercials that correlate dark skin and kinky hair with being ugly or subpar?
Books such as I’m a Pretty Little Black Girl are important because we have to constantly show our children the beauty that is within them. We have to do things that increase their confidence and we have to tell them that despite the negative images they see, as humans and as Blacks, they have worth and are valued. We have to show youth how to embrace their internal and external beauty and equip them with the necessary tools to help them be confident, self-loving individuals.
Books that positively uplift Blacks are important for the same reasons that books about being overweight or handicapped are important: because they serve as motivators to empower people. However, such books are also important because they also help to enlighten others by bringing about a sense of awareness to those unaffected.
I told my seatmate, “The bottom line is we all should have self-love and self-acceptance. Some people are born with it, and others obtain it at different stages of their lives. Books are one way of accomplishing that goal.”
That’s when she nodded in agreement and said, “I get it now. I understand.”
Not all people are bad, nor do all people have malicious intent. Some people are simply misinformed or not informed at all. The key is, we should all strive to find the answers. I’ve asked questions of my white friends, my homosexual friends, and even my Black friends who have had different experiences than I have. Conversation is a great uniting tool. It can also foster greater understanding. Perhaps we should all engage in more conversations in our attempts to learn from one another and evolve individally as well as a whole. It certainly couldn’t hurt.
You can email comments to Shannon Williams at shannonw@indyrecorder.com.
