Table for one: Reclaiming self-love and self-worth on Valentine’s Day

A conversation with Méchelle McCain, author of “When the Sh!t Isn’t Funny Anymore”

In mid-February, the world undergoes a swift transformation into shades of crimson and blush. In Indianapolis, where the gray winter sky often feels like a perpetual ceiling, the sudden arrival of overpriced lilies and heart-shaped candies cmay create a jarring dissonance. For millions, this isn’t a season of romance; it is a twenty-four-hour deadline for happiness that carries a profound psychological price tag. While the air is filled with the clink of celebratory champagne, a silent, heavy demographic navigates a “Table for One” in a room full of two. 

To find a way through, many are looking for practical ways to manage this season of performative romance. The Indianapolis Recorder sat down with Méchelle McCain — actress, philanthropist and author of the newly-released “When the Sh!t Isn’t Funny Anymore” — to discuss her philosophy of choosing logic over emotion. 

The imagery of Valentine’s Day is saturated — red roses, pink petals, heart candies. For someone sitting at a ‘Table for One,’ does that imagery feel like a celebration or a sensory alarm? 

Méchelle McCain: It depends on your outlook. In my book, I talk about why we create a ‘gap’ sometimes so nobody is left out. I think the biggest takeaway is realizing that love doesn’t always have to be with a significant other. It can be friends, children, or family. It’s about spending time with people you love, rather than the narrow corporate version of it. 

You advocate for “logic over emotion” during recovery from a divorce or breakup. Logically speaking, why is Valentine’s Day such a dangerous minefield for someone’s mental and emotional health? 

McCain: It’s dangerous because if you overthink or take a deep dive emotionally, you start digging a hole. You start thinking, ‘Nobody loves me,’ and you head in the opposite direction of where you should be going.  

When you think logically, you realize you do have people who love you. We tend to focus on what we’ve lost; logic forces us to focus on what we actually have. 

For women who feel their ‘singleness’ is on display during this holiday, how do they pivot from feeling exposed to feeling empowered? 

McCain: First of all: get off social media. If you know those ‘big gesture’ photos are going to trigger you, don’t feed that to your soul. Log out and do something nourishing for yourself. Go to lunch with friends, or if you have anger, go to a ‘breakout room’ and smash something. Stay focused on what makes you happy, not what looks good to others. 

You’ve noted that your daughters were “studying” how you handled your own heartbreak. How do we teach the next generation to survive the “pink and red” pressure? 

McCain: The younger generation is actually doing well with this — they aren’t pushing the narrative that they have to hurry up and get married to feel complete. When my daughters saw that I was strong on my own, it showed them that things happen so you can grow. If you’re single right now, that’s just where you’re supposed to be. There’s no strings attached and no expectations when you’re celebrating yourself. 

If the “celebrators” own red and pink, what color represents the women you write for — those rebuilding in the shadows of Valentine’s Day? 

McCain: I think it would be white. White is a blank sample — it’s starting over — refreshing   and recreating the life you want. From there, you move into creams and greens — calming, relaxing, soothing colors. You don’t just jump from heartbroken to joyous. You need colors that calm your nervous system so you can deal with your situation with clarity and logic. 

Purchase McCain’s book via Amazon, Barnes & Noble or wherever books are sold. 

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Contact Multimedia Reporter Noral Parham at 317-762-7846. Follow him on X @3Noral. For more news, click here.