While most dads are unwrapping coffee mugs, power tools, or yet another patterned tie this Sunday, Jamal Smith will spend Father’s Day enjoying the priceless gift of fatherhood. Smith, who serves as the executive director of the Indiana Civil Rights Commission, and his wife Micah, recently fulfilled a longtime dream of theirs by becoming the adoptive parents to two young children.
“The idea of adoption was something we both shared. We discovered that in the dating process,” said Jamal.
“I used to always tell my dad ‘I’m going to adopt one day,’” said Micah. “He would say ‘you’re not going to find a man that’s going to want to adopt.’ When I met Jamal we got close pretty quickly as far as dating is concerned. We were both very upfront about what our expectations were and it came out in conversation. It was kind of like an ‘aha’ moment.”
Having an affinity for helping children has always been on the couple’s hearts.
“I’ve been mentoring, specifically young boys, for the better part of 16 years now,” said Jamal. “The more I mentored the more aware I became of the conditions of the foster care system or the adoption world as it relates to Black children.”
According to the most recent data from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the number of children in foster care declined by 23.7 percent between 2002 and 2012. Reductions among African- American children were the most dramatic, declining by 47.1 percent during that time.
While rates have dropped for African-American children, they remain nearly twice the national average. These children are also less likely to be adopted by Black parents as four out of 10 adopted children have parents who report that they and their spouse or partner are of a different race, ethnicity, or culture than their child.
The Smiths, who have been married for 8 years, already had two biological children of their own when they decided the time was right to start the adoption process two and a half years ago.
“It’s a pretty lengthy and emotional process,” said Jamal, who shared that at one point the couple decided to stop and regroup for a few months due to the toll it took on them personally.
When the two decided to pick the process back up, they had to complete a series of classes, receive certifications in things like CPR and blood borne pathogen training, pass a host of background checks, home visits, and personal interviews to even be considered for placement. Once they were approved, the Smiths went through an inquiry process where they used a computer database, like a match.com for families; to identify children they would be interested in adopting using criteria like age, gender, ethnicity, and disability. Once the potential adoptive parents made their inquiries, a Special Needs Adoption Program (SNAP) Specialist reviewed the request and the information was then forwarded to the child’s direct contact.
Micah described that particular experience as difficult due to the fact that you could develop an emotional connection during the search process and then ultimately not be chosen. “It’s not for the faint at heart for sure,” she said.
Despite the difficult moments, the Smith family persevered. On June 5, they welcomed two siblings, ages six and nine into their home.
Micah said she has learned so much during these first couple of weeks and the children have been adjusting just fine.
“As a mom, it has been a blessing to be able to be here with the children and interact with them. It’s almost like having a new baby, even though they are six and nine. You learn their personalities, what makes them scared at night, how to comfort them, their favorite foods. You learn all of that during the first week,” she laughs.
Although he will continue mentoring kids in the community, Jamal says the decision he and Micah made to adopt is the pinnacle.
“Adoption has become the culmination of all the mentoring I’ve been doing for so long and it just fits right in line with who I am and everything I preach and practice. It would be nice to see more Black families consider adoption,” said Jamal. “Obviously not everyone is going to understand or agree with the message we are speaking. But with all the things that are going on in the community, all of the outreach that’s being done, and programs that are being developed, there is a need for a more permanent solution. If you want to be true about wanting to help out, then I don’t think you can do better than this.”
Jamal and Micah said they are hopeful and optimistic about what the future holds for their newly expanded family. “When you think about how the trajectory of the rest of their life has been affected and influenced… the first day they were with us just epitomized that ultimate goal,” said Jamal. “We’re are excited about this opportunity and look forward to being a blessing to them as they are to us.”
For more information on adoption in Indiana, visit adoptuskids.org.
