For many victims of domestic violence, their workplace can be a sanctuary, a place they can go to get away from their abuser. That is why it’s imperative for business owners and managers to commit to creating a safe workplace and providing resources for employees who are involved in intimate partner violence — whether they’re the abused or the abuser.
Even for some employers who think it couldn’t possibly happen at their business or among their coworkers, the Domestic Violence Network says not so fast.
“Everyone has this idea about what a domestic violence victim looks like, what a perpetrator looks like, but really they look like our friends and neighbors, and like everybody in this room,” said Natalie Phillips, program coordinator with the Domestic Violence Network (DVN).
Phillips and her colleague Chris Handberg, DVN’s director of community engagement, recently hosted a seminar for Central Indiana business owners and employers who want to prepare to handle issues of domestic violence that might arise.
In addition to having preconceived — and often incorrect — ideas about what victims and abusers look like, people also tend to have a narrow idea about what abuse looks like, Phillips and Handberg said. That narrow idea might include black eyes, a busted lip and bruises.
But there are many types of abuse that can happen between intimate partners, including emotional, sexual and financial abuse.
In fact, Handberg said once the abuse is obvious enough to see on the victim’s body, it’s almost too late. He said abusers and their victims tend to keep the abuse secret, just a family issue.
“If someone has visible bruises, the abuser no longer cares who knows about the abuse,” Handberg said. “That victim is in extreme danger.”
Additionally, the DVN reps said there are many barriers victims face that keep them from being forthcoming about their situation, including not wanting to mix their personal problems into their professional life. Abuse victims also might be concerned about losing their job or workplace gossip. In a workplace where “low-level harassment” is common, such as people telling off-color jokes with no consequences, a victim might feel his or her situation might not be taken seriously.
So it’s crucial that employers and coworkers — who spend hours upon hours with one another — know how to recognize not-so-obvious signs of abuse.
WHAT TO LOOK FOR
The following are some signs that an employee might be having trouble at home:
• Absenteeism (an abuse victim might stay home to heal after physical abuse)
• Isolation
• Poor concentration
• Unwelcome visits (from a spouse or potential abuser)
• Frequent contact (the person might seem scared of missing a text or call from an abusive partner)
WHAT YOU CAN DO
If you’re concerned about an employee, the way you address it is very important — giving the wrong advice could create a liability for the company and put the domestic violence victim in danger. DVN recommends a three-step process: Recognize, respond, refer.
Once you’ve recognized the signs of abuse, it’s time to respond. Handberg and Phillips suggest talking about your observations, rather than your feelings, beliefs or assumptions. For example, say, “I’ve noticed you’ve been coming in late and seem distracted … I thought it might be possible you’re experiencing stress at home.” DVN says avoid using words like “abuse” and “violence,” because many victims don’t self-identify that way.
If the employee discloses violence, a response such as “No one deserves to be treated that way,” can be supportive without being judgmental. Handberg and Phillips said it’s essential to let the employee have the power in the conversation.
“They’ve got one person controlling their life. They don’t need another,” Phillips said. “If you push too hard, you’ll push them right into the arms of the abuser.”
To that end, it’s important to listen and to let the employee decide how he or she wants to proceed. Phillips suggests asking, “how do you want to handle that,” or “what do you want to do.” You can then refer the employee to an advocacy service or call an advocate together to help the employee create a safety plan.
You should also suggest the employee seek medical care, even if they have no obvious or recent injuries. “Things like strangulation can result in strokes months later,” Phillips said. “We always recommend medical care.”
Phillips said it can be a long process for a victim to leave an abuser, so you should always be available to listen. Additionally, tough-love-style intervention, like what’s done in some substance abuse situations, is never OK for abuse victims.
“Even though it’s so hard to watch somebody go through it, you have to remember it’s a process, and you have to leave that door open,” she said.
MAKE WORK A SAFE PLACE
Work is a vulnerable point for abuse victims, because an abuser knows even if a victim has left the relationship, the victim still has to go to work.
Employers can obtain a workplace restraining order through their county clerk’s office, which legally prohibits the abuser from coming near the business, even if the victim isn’t there at the time.
Employers should also alert the front desk staff, security staff and managers about the situation, and share a photo of the abuser. But beware: it would be inappropriate and disrespectful to the victim to send an all-staff email. Discretion is advised.
BE PROACTIVE
Handberg said creating a company policy that promotes a violence-free workplace and communicating that policy widely is one of the best things an employer can do, because it shows employees that the employer cares about them.
Phillips said such a policy also sets the tone about the company’s stance. “It creates an entire workplace where violence just isn’t acceptable anymore,” she said. Phillips said.
DVN has a policy template and will work with businesses to help them craft their own plan, at no cost.
DVN also offers training for businesses and several other resources. More details here: http://dvnconnect.org/resources/.
