I recently attended a wellness committee meeting where the chairman leading the group focused on the idea that our bodies are temples and it’s up to us to ensure we maintain our temple.
He then asked us to write down what we would do to ensure our temple is maintained, seal them in an envelope and visit that envelope later.
Last week I was handed that envelope. I’d like to say I met all of my goals, but instead I did as well as I do with New Year’s resolutions – start off strong and fizzle by February. My goals weren’t out of reach; they were simple. Eat more vegetables and get more sleep. How hard could that be? Well, I’m not in the camp that counts pizza sauce as a vegetable, nor do I have a newborn. With no good excuse, I opened the envelope and let shame consume me. It wasn’t even 2012 and I had already failed!
Or had I? I thought about my goals almost every day and in nearly every choice I made. When I stayed up later to work, I knew I was shortchanging myself. And when the green beans I bought turned moldy in the refrigerator, I was reminded I was being wasteful and wasn’t doing what was right for my family or me. Before that meeting, I wouldn’t have thought twice, but there was something about making a commitment in the setting of this meeting, with a group of colleagues to bear witness, that got under my skin. Now, I think about these goals every day.
There are multiple phases to making a change (I’m in the preparation phase now).
* Pre-contemplation – You aren’t even thinking about making a change. It’s eat the fries, smoke a pack and watch eight hours of TV a day, having no concerns about it whatsoever.
* Contemplation – Something’s pushed you into thinking about making a change and you think you might actually need to do something. It’s time to talk to someone who could help: a doctor, a pastor or a friend.
* Preparation – You test the waters and get ready to leap. Maybe it’s picking a day to quit smoking or joining a weight loss support group.
* Action – Not only do you sign up for the class, you actually go to it! You cut back on the carbs and start walking more. You are moving forward and you are awesome!
* Maintenance – The plateau hits and your resolve is tested. You wonder if you’ll ever get to eat a slab of ribs again. Maintenance is tough and never ending. It may seem like austerity measures that last forever.
You’ve heard it before – change is hard. So, how do you do it?
The first rule of change is to pick one specific goal and focus on it. This goal must be actionable and realistic. Here’s a non-specific goal: I will start to exercise. Here’s an actionable goal: I will walk for 20 minutes five times a week for one month. It doesn’t seem like it should make a difference, but it does. Perhaps you only make it three times a week. At least you’ve worked towards your goal.
The next rule is to take small steps. It’s nearly impossible to go from being totally inactive to exercising seven days a week. Start slow and get into the groove. Pick something you actually like to do for exercise. If you stumble for a day or two, don’t let that be the excuse to quit; let it be the reminder you need to get back on track.
Once you set your goal, get support. Look to friends and family to help you work on the goal. Change is a process. It takes time to come to the realization that your path needs to move in a new direction – whether it’s changing the dynamic of or leaving a relationship, taking ownership of your body or doing something more for your kids. You don’t have to wait until New Year’s Eve to get started. Plan, get the support and move forward, whether you start in January or July.
The Pulitzer Prize winning author Ellen Goodman wrote, “We spend Jan. 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives…not looking for flaws, but for potential.” Each of us has the potential to reach and maintain our goals. As long as the goal doesn’t involve Brussels sprouts…I wish for you to flourish in health, wellness and spirit in 2012.
