Waiting on the Lord to send you the “perfect” mate can leave some a bit antsy, especially if members in the congregation are walking down the aisle with their Romeo or Juliet before them.
With the barrage of marriages taking place, and the proverbial time clock ticking, people may be tempted to take the dating scene into their hands. Why waste time narrowing the field when you can eliminate the bad apples with a click of a button?
According to Marketdata Enterprises Inc. there is estimated to be 1,500 dating sites in the United States and the dating industry has 40 million users.
So where do Christians fall into this dating trend? Could logging onto ChristianMingle.com be that bad?
“I don’t particularly see anything wrong with Christians using online dating sites. Whether you meet someone at work, worship, Wendy’s or the web, it’s not so much the place of the initial encounter that is important, but it’s having a heart of discernment and a willingness to listen and be led by the Holy Spirit that counts,” said Corey A. Duncan Sr. associate pastor of youth at New Beginnings Fellowship Church.
Michael K. Jones, senior pastor of Progressive Baptist Church, advises Christians to be grounded enough to use dating sites as a tool and not a substitute.
Jones recalled a couple in his congregation that met online. He said they courted, attended marriage counseling and are happily married now.
“Anyone can have the wrong intentions whether they are behind a computer screen or not. Technology can be helpful, but it is not a substitute for getting to know someone. You have to inspect before you make a decision and a computer screen cannot do that,” Jones said.
Duncan agrees, saying a person’s walk with Christ should be evident in their lifestyle not just in their profile summary.
“Make sure they are living a Christ centered life and that as a mate they meet and measure up to the criteria found in the Word of God,” Duncan said.
According to Proverbs 18:22, “He who finds a wife, he finds something good.” Jones says that Scripture is not talking about a man going out and hunting someone down.
“You find her once you get to know the real her. As long as you are honoring God and trusting him it doesn’t matter how I find you,” he said. “It matters if I find God in you.”
According to Duncan, Christian dating sites have the potential to serve as a filter to faith-filled followers who are seeking a relationship rooted in righteousness. These sites have the ability to bring together people of similar composites who are seeking and searching for the same thing.
“The impact may be viewed as both positive and negative on the Christian community,” he said. “I suppose many may mock this method of searching for a mate while others may applaud and appreciate it. At the end of the day what may work for some may not work for others.”
