Martin Luther King Jr. once inquired, “Where do we go from here? Chaos or community?”
A week after the killings in Louisiana, Minnesota and Texas I still find myself drained from the ugliness this country – the land of the free – demonstrates to people who look like me. Black people.
A week after the tragedies, I am tired of all the senseless killings of innocent people. I am frustrated with all the discontent and hatred people possess and I am also overwhelmed with worry for the next Black person who is violently murdered at the hands of police. I am also worried about the next law enforcement officer who is murdered by a crazed or simply overwhelmed individual.
I am also weary. Weary of the “what’s next.” Such weariness is probably attributed to the fact that the “what’s next” is uncertain for so many of us – Black, white, Hispanic, gay, straight, male, female, Democrat or Republican. We simply don’t know what is next.
However, as weary as I am, Dr. King’s question of “where do we go from here” needs to be answered. I choose community over chaos.
Racism in America is systemic and it’s deeply rooted. There are people who simply don’t like individuals who are different from them. There are people who think if you are a different race, a different sex or have a different sexual orientation than them, then somehow you are not equal. As a matter of fact, many feel you may be less than them so they act accordingly. Maybe it’s a mean look, a derogatory statement, or perhaps it is some sort of maltreatment or even worse – death.
My point is, racist individuals are generally deliberate in their thinking. However, there are some people who have racist tendencies, yet they don’t view themselves as racists. They may stereotype or lump a particular group of people into a box thinking all such people act a certain way or possess specific characteristics.
There are also people who are not racist, yet they don’t understand certain people’s perspective because they themselves have never interacted with a particular demographic. All these people know is what they have heard from others or how mainstream media portrays a particular demographic of people.
The point I am trying to make is we all must look at one another as human beings – doing so will remove the stigma and misperceptions we have of those different than us.
I recently had a conversation with a caucasian woman who I know is not prejudice. This woman is one of the kindest people you will ever meet and she loves everyone – even people different than herself. When discussing the murders of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, she felt bad that people had lost their lives, yet she didn’t understand why Blacks were continuously referencing the number of African-Americans who died at the hands of police, yet seemed not to focus on other ethnicities who met the same fate.
I explained to her that oftentimes, Blacks are stereotyped and treated disproportionately to their white counterparts. I also explained how Black parents all over the country fear for their children’s lives, particularly their Black male children, because they can literally be killed for nothing at all. I also explained the sense of worry I feel for my adorable 5-year-old nephew whose eyes hopefully don’t experience evil. I told the woman one day, my sister and I will have to have “the talk” with my nephew, telling him how to act at all times, but particularly in the presence of police officers. To have overwhelming worry for a child who has been on this earth for only five short years is devastating.
I asked the woman to pretend she had a child who was a target for abuse, discrimination and maltreatment simply because of something he couldn’t change like deformity or the color of his skin. I asked her how she would feel if every person with the same deformity as her child was adversely treated. This woman paused and thought about the scenario I presented to her. Moments later tears streaked down her face and she calmly said, “I get it now.”
By including herself or someone she loved in the equation, she was able to understand the perspectives of Blacks.
As President Barack Obama stated during the memorial service honoring the five police officers killed last week, “we have to fix ourselves, but we also need to dialogue with others. We have to be open to the challenges of citizens.”
That’s what I did with my caucasian friend and that is something she said she will do with one of her friends. You can do the same thing. I hope you do because our country needs healing and recovery.
