For Brandon and Rosalind Jackson marriage has been a significant blessing.
The young couple, who have been married for little over a year, have enjoyed their journey so far.
“It’s been great and it is definitely a growing process,” said Brandon, a local education specialist and motivational speaker.
“The Lord has been faithful to us and has shown that he truly rewards those who seek to do his will,” Rosalind added.
Many couples in their 20s and 30s are sharing the excitement that the Jacksons have enjoyed. For others, however, the “fairy tale” feeling doesn’t always last, as shown by recent statistics on the U.S. divorce rate.
According to the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Mo., 50 percent of first year marriages, 67 percent of second year marriages and 74 percent of third year marriages end in divorce.
“Probably, 40 or possibly even 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce each year if current trends continue,” said Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute.
For many young couples, divorces can be caused by poor choices such as getting married too soon without discovering personality differences that become more apparent in marriage, along with disputes over finances and other stressful matters that can either draw a couple closer together or farther apart.
The Jacksons believe that a stable marriage has to be worked at everyday. They agree that it is work, but that it is also good work and God’s work.
“We have to remember that marriage takes work,” said Rosalind, a foreign language teacher. “Beautiful gardens don’t get that way on their own. Just as a garden needs to be worked on in order to maintain its beauty, so does a marriage.”
“It can be beautiful, but you have to nurture it so that it will grow. They say the grass is always greener on the other side. But the grass can stay greener on your side if you just water it and take care of it.”
For Nathan and Tayisha McGuire, who have been married over five years, communication has played a key role in ensuring a stable marriage.
“Marriage can be hilarious sometimes,” said Nathan, a family support consultant. “In our second year I realized that I speak ‘man-ese’ and she speaks ‘woman-ese’. Now I’m in my third semester of woman-ese but she seems to be ahead of me in the man-ese. Probably because the language of men isn’t that complicated. You have no idea how much work marriage is until you’re in it, but you get out of it what you put into it.”
Both couples agree that keeping God’s will first and maintaining a sensible courting process while single builds the foundation of a strong marriage.
“It is very important to focus your heart on what God wants, and he’ll give you the desires of your heart because he already knows what you need,” said Tayisha McGuire, a public relations and administration employee at Eastern Star Church. “Continue to use the time you have as a single individual to serve God and surround yourself with godly friends and godly counsel. Be patient and receive God’s best in his timing.”
Nathan McGuire believes that an individual should have a clear sense of who they are before seeking marriage.
“In many situations we base our identity on superficial things like money or position instead of how God created us to be and the purpose he has created us for,” he said. “How can I know you if I don’t know myself? How can I love you if I don’t love myself?”
Rosalind Jackson encourages singles to work on being the right mate, and know what to look for.
“Don’t look for someone who is perfect or meets all of the requirements on your list,” she said. “Look for someone who can encourage you in your Christian walk and challenges you to grow closer to Christ. At the same time, realize that you are wonderfully made and don’t settle for anything less than what God has for you.”
Both couples agree that keeping God at the center of the relationship, whether it’s in the dating or marriage process, is essential.
“The problem is we are sometimes so disconnected from God and his word that when he gives us the yea or nay concerning our mate we don’t recognize his voice,” Nathan McGuire said. “The irony of it all is that God just simply wants to be involved in the process and help you build a marriage that brings him glory and gives you happiness.”
