As another school year wraps up, I want to extend heartfelt appreciation to all the parents, guardians and family members who have walked alongside their children through the highs and lows.
Parenting is hard, and raising good students adds to that challenge. Parents tap into their village, their knowledge of math, English and other subjects in an effort to support our kids. As a principal, a father and a proud Black man deeply rooted in our community, I know firsthand the unique challenges and triumphs we experience as African American families in the education system.
Now is the perfect time to pause, breathe, and reflect. Our kids are getting their report cards — but let’s look at our own report card as parents? Let’s take a moment to give ourselves a “Parent Report Card.” Not to judge, but to grow. This is an opportunity for us to assess how we showed up for our children this year, how we nurtured their development and how we prepared them to rise above adversity.
Below are three key areas where we can grade ourselves — not in the traditional A through F style, but with honest self-reflection. Let’s take this journey together.
Attendance: Were you present?
Involvement doesn’t always mean being at every PTA meeting or school play. It means being engaged. Did you check in about homework, ask how their day went and show up when it mattered most? Were you an active listener or too consumed with work, stress, or the demands of life to be fully present? A parent’s presence comes in many different forms. If you can’t be physically present at every event you can be present by being engaged with what your student is learning in school.
Ask yourself:
- Did I communicate with my child’s teachers regularly?
- Was I aware of their academic progress and struggles?
- Did I attend at least one school event, parent-teacher conference, or performance?
- Did I create space for daily check-ins, even if brief?
Reflection: Think about where you were consistent, and where you could’ve been more intentional. Our kids notice the little things — the quick pep talk before a test, the ride home where you asked about their day. Every moment of presence plants a seed of confidence.
Homework: Did you create an environment at home that helped your student succeed?
The environment we create at home is often more influential than any classroom. Students need a place at home that supports their success at school. Everyone’s home life is different, but a home where a student can study with minimal distractions, technology resources, and a supportive village is ideal. Was your home a place where your child felt safe, supported and encouraged? Did you model values like resilience, faith, discipline and love?
Ask yourself:
- Did I model calmness, especially during stressful times?
- Did my child feel emotionally safe bringing problems to me?
- Was there a consistent routine for sleeping, study and play?
- Did I create a space, physically or emotionally, where learning could happen?
Reflection: As Black families, we often carry the weight of generational pressure and systemic obstacles. But we also carry strength, creativity and tradition. How did those show up in your home this year? Did you pass on wisdom or old-school discipline without open dialogue? Remember, our homes are our children’s first classrooms. What did yours teach?
Support Through Struggles: Did You Show Up in the Storm?
Every child will face challenges, academic hurdles, social conflicts, and growing pains. As parents we must understand the most appropriate way to respond to those challenges. There are times when we swoop in and save the day and other times where we allow our students to bump their heads. During challenging times and struggle, you don’t have to have all the answers as a parent, but you have to be available and present.
Ask yourself:
- Did I react with empathy when my child was struggling or with frustration?
- Did I seek help when the situation was beyond me (tutors, counselors, mentors)?
- Did I teach my child how to cope, problem-solve and bounce back?
Reflection: Our children are watching how we handle setbacks. Your strength in their storm becomes their blueprint and guide for how they will handle adversity moving forward. Even if you didn’t have all the answers, did you walk with them through the difficulty? Sometimes just showing up is enough.
The final grade: Progress over perfection
No one gets it right every time. Being a parent is a journey of learning, adjusting, and loving fiercely. The fact that you’re taking the time to reflect means you care — and that already puts you ahead. Give yourself grace. Then, make a plan for next year. What would you like to do more of? Where do you want to grow?
Here are a few questions to carry with you:
- What did I do well this year?
- What is one area I want to improve next year?
- How can I continue to support my child’s journey emotionally, academically, and spiritually?
To all the parents and extended family that have helped their student have a successful school year, please take a moment to celebrate yourself. You are raising the next generation’s leaders, lawyers, teachers, entrepreneurs, authors and more. Keep showing up. Stay engaged and encouraged. Keep planting seeds.
