I have been in education for 22 years, with 18 of those years being in middle school.
There is never a dull moment when you are a middle school educator, and the same goes for middle school parents. Through my middle school experience, I have learned that the ‘middle years’ can be some of the best years of your students’ life and a learning experience for parents.
The hands-off approach
Most middle schools are sixth through eighth grade. Your students go from preteen to teen.
During this time, it is important for you to test your parenting by slowly taking a hands-off approach. Middle school is the time to give your student a little more freedom in decision making, responsibilities, choices and their academics. Parents should begin to allow their students to make decisions on how they spend their money, what they wear, and other decisions that impact them personally.
As students get older, the desire for independence grows and the battle for control begins. Allowing more autonomy in these three small areas will give you the opportunity to see how your student makes decisions and how you will need to support them further. As students get older the decisions become more important, such as class choices through high school. Learning how your student makes decisions in middle school puts you ahead of the game before they hit high school.
Stop sending screenshots
Middle school is the ideal time for your student to take more control of their education.
I cannot stress this enough as this could save you a lot of headaches and stress if your student is able to take more ownership of their education. I am guilty of receiving a grade notification for my son, taking a screenshot and immediately sending it to him as if he didn’t receive the same notification.
Don’t do this! I usually get the response of, “I already saw it, Dad.” Your student should begin to check their email and grades daily and know where they stand with assignments. They should also know when upcoming tests and quizzes are taking place and be able to keep track of their homework. This level of organization will still need parental support but will save you and your student stress as they get older.
Student teacher partnership
Encourage your middle schooler to build a working relationship with their teacher.
As a former middle school parent, I made my presence known with each of my son’s teachers, but I learned it is more important for your student to do the same. Help your middle school student open lines of communication with teachers via email and face to face so that the teacher knows this student cares about their education and is heavily involved. Teach your student to know what to do when they need help or get a bad grade.
Students should be aware of the resources available to them at school and how to tap into them. The more a student can begin to build working relationships with their teachers in middle school, it will ultimately pay off when they have to do the same with college professors.
As your student enters middle school, please understand, you have to change as a parent … slowly. The days of sitting in classrooms are over or delivering cupcakes and balloons to the entire class for their birthday are over as well. You can visit the school but try not to sit in the classroom, as you may very well embarrass your child. Your kid is growing up and growing up fast and you have to accept it.
As a middle school parent, your parenting skills will be challenged as your kid goes through physical and social changes. Middle school is where the big hugs may become side hugs, and your little boy may soon be taller than you. If you can gradually release responsibilities, small decisions, and ownership to your student, it will save you a lot of stress and screenshots in the end!
