If you have seen me on social media, you may have noticed that I often use hashtags #blackpimo or #jwblackpimo. However, are you aware of the meaning? Within the study of religious abuse or religious trauma, the terminology PIMO refers to being Physically In and Mentally Out. A person can be Physically Out and Mentally In (POMI).
Many sources describe being a PIMO as an extremely distorted mental state. This can cause cognitive dissonance or being mentally strained from having two contradicting views.
Most victims and survivors of religious trauma typically experience this as they are going through deconstruction and reclamation, a time when an individual is examining their beliefs and creating a new belief journey while reclaiming their lives, with the focus being on asking themselves, ‘Who am I?’ and ‘What do I truly believe?’
This process produces anguish and tears at every fiber of existence, forcing an individual to question things that they were taught to never question. That takes courage. For some, this time is relatively short; for others, it is a lifelong battle.
However, because of my psychology studies, I’ve been able to find peace and middle ground by understanding the importance of spectrum thinking and the principles of overgeneralization.
I no longer agree with everything that Jehovah’s Witnesses teach. After all, our
“Keep Yourselves in God’s Love” Bible study book states that, “In certain extreme situations, some Christians have decided to separate from or divorce a marriage mate though that one has not committed sexual immorality… Extreme physical abuse. An abusive spouse may act so violently that the abused mate’s health and even life are in danger…”
What exactly is extreme physical abuse? That does not make sense, and that does not provide any safety for victims. My ex-husband professed that he never put me in the hospital, so I never had a right to divorce him.
If you have read my column, you are familiar with what I experienced and the horrors that I lived through. Several times I’ve asked myself if I even desire to still be a Witness. Factually, Almighty God loves me regardless.
Nevertheless, after deeply analyzing my situation, being a part of support and study groups, graduating cum laude, and more, I discovered that I really do believe in the core teachings. I just worship in the comfort of my own home where I’m safe, while maintaining limited contact with the Kingdom Hall.
For me, this is a lifestyle, and to remain healthy means being fully engaged in religious trauma support groups other than my own space that I have curated, reading, and staying current on religious abuse information. Being a PIMO is not for everyone, another person may need to completely walk away, and if that is your situation, so be it. Please be well and never forget that this is not your fault.
Mira Cassidy is a religious abuse recovery coach, actress and writer. Learn more at miracassidy.com.
MIRA CASSIDY
Mira Cassidy is a religious abuse recovery coach, actress, and writer who works as an advocate and connector for women affected by religious abuse. Mira graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology of Human Relations from IWU December of 2024. She is the founder of Sisters Living with Religious Trauma® Support Media LLC.
