Kudos to the lovely men of LiveSteez! You’ve officially opened a can of worms that was so on the shelf. But let’s be fair and present the perspective of the sistas, namely those with a job! A little healthy debate, if you will.
Brothas, please don’t cry the blues because you got played by a women you thought was feeling you, because y’all are guilty of the same! Nowadays we date with the same caution because there are scrubs out there who prey on everyday business women, who have everything in place except for their love life. Then comes the impostor partner, who is really the guy that ends up “crashing at your place for a few days,” trying to seduce his way into a live-in position. Employment, or lack there of, is the focal point of most of the signs that your man is a scrub. Fellas, if you’re presently without work you may want to skip this read and surf the classifieds. But the rest of you scrubs don’t worry, we’ll try not to rip you too hard.
1. He is in “transition.”
Sistas hate to hear that dreaded word, which translates to unemployed. If a man says he’s in “transition” then he has no job and more than likely can’t name a profession, skill or trade that he’s practiced for more than 3 years, consecutively. If he is an able body and free of felony convictions, he should be working, end of story.
2. He has no means of transportation.
Ladies, if the man has no car, this is more than likely his excuse for not having a job! This will also excuse his need to borrow your whip while you’re out working. If your man is driving your car around town from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., then he’s probably putting it down in intimate afterhours. Suggestion: Detach, somebody out there can do it better, and he may just have a job and a car.
3. He has trouble explaining/verifying his living situation.
If you’ve been seeing a guy for more than 90 days and you have yet to be invited his place, you have a bonafide live-in ex situation. Run. Or, if your dude is squatting at various family members pads and can hardly remember where he last left his toothbrush and toiletries, not only is he a scrub, he’s a scrub with no direction. Run fast.
4. He has several children with several women.
If your dude has more than two kids with more than two women, this is a problem. No child is a mistake, but these kind of slip-ups should only happen once, MAYBE twice. Otherwise, he’s reckless with his seed and you’d be foolish to try and venture down a path of longevity with him. Furthermore, a man with children should NOT have the time to be at your house all day and night, and you should encourage him to be with his babies by any means necessary.
5. He is the sum total of signs 1,2,3 and 4, which is: your man can’t get a job because he’s secretly dodging back child support payments, still lives with his ex and kids and he can’t keep a car because it will end up stripped and vandalized. Run fast, don’t look back.
6. He’s dropping an album.
Eww. If you’re man spends most of his time in the studio rapping about things he’s never done and doesn’t have, he has to go. If one more dude says he does music and bears no fruits of this labor, other than a beat up chain and party flyers, it’ll be too soon. How long has he been dropping this album again?
7. He never takes you out, but “pops bottles” at the club.
If your man goes to the club and pays double what a bottle normally costs for the sake of flossing, then he more than likely wears shades inside the club too, lame. Next.
8. He hollers broke but frequents the booty club.
If your man says he “ain’t got no dough” but still finds the cash flow to tip them h*@s, he needs to get his priorities straight. Ladies, buy a stripper pole for the crib; fellas, make it rain at home, problem solved.
9. He hollers broke in designer fabrics.
If the man you’re dating rocks premium denims, the latest J’s and a fresh line-up, and never has any money to contribute to the bar tab or dinner dates, chances are he didn’t buy half of what he’s wearing. Now he’s trying to cake you. Run away, quickly.
10. He hollers broke, again.
If homeboy says he’s running low on cash, but has every video game system with a closet full of cartridges and joysticks to boot, he’s not the one. No one wants to completely do away with the testosterone release of Madden, but the line has got be drawn somewhere. His game collection should not be the only small fortune he’s acquired.
This is by no means the standard, nor a knock to the brothas out grinding for betterment, but it is a reality that many of us women encounter when sifting through the scrubs to get to her ideal partner. It’s not an easy process, but it propels the determination not to settle. As cliché as it sounds, we ultimately want love but just don’t know how or where to find it. Maybe we have to come to grips with our weakness for fine men who dress the part and start looking for the “stand-up” guys, but where are they?
