Shut up and listen
By BRANDON A. PERRY
To many people this title might seem a little harsh.
However, many of society’s problems could be eliminated or prevented if we indeed would take more time to shut up and listen – not just with our ears but also with our heart.
Do you know someone who spends 10 minutes talking about their stuff but get ready to take off as soon as the conversation switches to your thoughts and needs?
What about the person who cuts you off in mid sentence in a tense discussion because they’re more focused on preparing a response than fully understanding what your point is? At worst the situation escalates, at best you have to repeat yourself.
Individuals in these categories bring to mind Proverbs 18:2, which states “A fool finds no pleasure in understanding, but delights in airing his own opinions.”
In today’s busy, rush-rush society we are more productive, but this has come at a cost for most of us. We have less time for the finer things in life: Precious moments with family and fellowship with friends. Gone, for example, are the days when people could sit on their porch and talk with neighbors.
We encounter individuals and ask them how they are doing, which is usually quickly answered by the word “fine.” Do we really intend to stop for a few minutes and listen to their situation, or are we just making superficial, polite conversation? Do we really want to know how their faith is being tested by problems at work, home, school or church?
In this climate good listeners have become a rare, vintage commodity. Sure, you can always find a person who can talk to (or at) you, but you’re blessed if you have someone who will listen and provide helpful feedback as much as they talk.
God’s word makes frequent references to the importance of listening, which it describes as a sign of wisdom.
In two different verses Proverbs says “The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice” and notes that “even a fool when he is silent, is considered wise.”
James, one of the apostles, encourages us to be “quick to listen” and not so quick to argue out of anger or take offense. (James 1:4)
Granted, there are times when we should speak up, especially if we see injustice, a loved one messing their life up, someone in need of encouragement or a goal that we want to seize immediately.
However, if you find yourself barking at people more than you’re hearing from them, if they know everything about you and you know nothing about them, then why not become a good listener today?
The counseling and psychiatry profession has become so popular because everyone, even supposedly quiet and private people, needs someone who will allow them to occasionally share what’s on their mind.
Listening not only allows you to gently see what’s up with a person and discern if they’re the type of individual you want to associate with; it also gives people an outlet to share their concerns.
Many ministry leaders, though well intentioned, simply don’t have time to sit down and discuss personal issues with every member in their congregation. Lay members, we have an opportunity to counsel each other by being good listeners and using our gifts of encouragement.
Along with a relationship with the Lord, talking to a trusted relative, friend, colleague or pastor is one of the greatest ways to cleanse your soul of negative emotions and thoughts while gaining some perspective. So offer yourself as a good listener to at least one person today, and quickly accept if someone wants to bless you with the same thing.
Otherwise, those negative emotions can build up and affect our spiritual and mental health. We’ll have a bunch of people with cases of various disorders running around the Kingdom, not able to evangelize because they have their own issues. Skeptics and church haters will have a field day. I can just hear them saying, “I really ain’t going to church now… those folk are crazy!”
