I expected more accountability.
Perhaps I was wrong for my expectations, but I really believed that Bishop Eddie Long should have been more accountable for his actions – even in settling he could have taken more responsibility.
Whether he actually did as the lawsuit that four young men filed against him stated and “coerced them into sexual relationships” is something that we may never know the real truth to; there are the plaintiffs’ stories and there is Long’s story. What we do know for certain and what has come out as fact is that there were certain things that Long did that at the very least didn’t reflect well on him – things such as sending suggestive pictures to young boys and even purchasing gifts for them. For that, if nothing else, I expected more accountability.
One of the most powerful things that we can do as human beings is embrace truth, even if our truths are painful, embarrassing or sinful. Embracing truth is a form of acceptance and responsibility. Truth is powerful and as cliché as it sounds, truth really does set us free.
I’m a relatively private person who doesn’t like to share much about my personal life, but in an effort to foster a better understanding of the power of truth, I’ll share a past experience with you.
Several years ago I dated a man who I really cared for. I thought it was an ideal relationship – it was give and take on both parts and we were both really happy. Just as the relationship progressed and feelings got deeper, I found out that he cheated on me. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn’t believe that a man I had invested so much of my time and emotions in would do such a hurtful and deceptive thing.
Needless to say, the relationship ended. But the aspect that hurt just as much as the cheating was that my ex never assumed responsibility. Despite the proof, he acted as if he never cheated. I remember continuously wondering how a person could be so nonchalant and unaccepting of his behavior.
As disappointed and hurt as I was, I persevered through the pain and moved on with my life. Several months after we broke up, my ex called me and said he wanted to talk … he needed to clarify some things. When we spoke, he came clean on everything. He admitted he cheated, he spoke of how he ruined our otherwise perfect relationship, he took responsibility for his actions and he even apologized for the way he treated me. Near the end of our conversation, he thanked me for talking with him because it allowed him to free himself emotionally. The truth set him free.
This particular ex and I have both moved on with our individual lives, but now we are really great friends. I can depend on him and he can depend on me. Our friendship is even stronger than our relationship because as friends, our foundation was built on trust. It’s an awesome feeling.
So even though my ex’s mistakes resulted in the end of our relationship, being accountable for his wrongdoings by acknowledging that he messed up made him a better person and it gave me an even greater respect for him.
The Bible says “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” Not some of us, but all of us. My point is no one is perfect. We all make mistakes, as a matter of fact, mistakes are to be expected. However, we should also take responsibility for our mistakes and learn from them. If Bishop Eddie Long did have sexual relations with those young men then he really should have taken responsibility. He didn’t have to go into specifics, but simply admitting that he was wrong would have sufficed. Or, as I mentioned before, he could have taken responsibility for the improper things he did do such as the inappropriate pictures. Instead Long settled the case with a disclaimer that said neither he nor any of the plaintiffs could discuss the case.
When Long returned to the pulpit on Sunday, he was welcomed by a full house of parishioners. I think he sent the wrong message by not assuming some sort of accountability for his behavior. Imagine the positive impact he could have made to his thousands of parishioners and even millions around the world if he would have admitted to his wrongdoings – whatever degree they were. Doing so would have proven that even famous and highly respected people aren’t perfect, yet can still learn from their mistakes. I’m sure Long would still have a strong following had he acknowledged his wrongdoings.
One last thing: as a community, Blacks have to take more of a stand against wrongdoing. We need to hold people accountable for their actions – even if they don’t hold themselves accountable. The great Dr. Martin Luther King once said, “A man who doesn’t stand for something will fall for anything.”
Do you think Blacks should have taken more of a stand against Long? Let me know your thoughts on the Recorder’s Facebook page.
