It’s that time of year again! Roses, chocolates and jewelry are in high demand, restaurant reservations are rapidly increasing, and love is in the air all over Indy. While the spirit of Valentine’s Day may have become a bit commercialized, these local couples are proof that true love exists. The Recorder recently met with local lovebirds to get their perspectives on how to make it through the highs and lows of a relationship and obtain long-lasting love.
First and only love: Nathanial and Tera Allen
They say you’ll never forget your first love. For some, a memory is not enough. Nathanial Allen met his future wife Tera when he was a child and connected with her instantly. Since resting his eyes on Tera’s, he had no desire to date anyone else.
“I’ve known her since I was 6. Her dad was our pastor. I ‘liked’ her for as long as I can remember,” said Allen.
The pair grew up together. As a young man, Nathanial wrote his future wife tons of poetry about his feelings for her, eventually compiling them into a book. As teens, they attended prom together and became each other’s first and only relationship.
“She prayed that her first boyfriend would be her husband, and I was indeed her first boyfriend and now her husband. Unique to these days, we remained abstinent until we were married at 23. We celebrate 13 years of marriage this year, and our love grows deeper each year.”
Tera has advice for couples seeking long-lasting love.
“The way you approach the relationship and what you bring to the relationship will have a direct impact on what you get from the relationship. Therefore, put in what you hope to get out,” said Tera.
Nathanial says having realistic expectations of your partner is key to a happy relationship.
“Disappointments in marriage tend to stem from unmet expectations. Instead of looking for the other person to meet all of your needs, start being the person to meet all of theirs. Be sure that you serve one another. The happiest marriages consist of two servants in love,” said Nathanial.
As fate would have it: Madisyn and Watson George
Madisyn and Watson George were both born in Haiti, but their paths didn’t cross until they attended college in Anderson, Indiana.
“We were born 15 miles apart, but did not know each other in Haiti. Watson lost his biological mother when he was 2 years old, and I lost mine when I was 11. Growing up in Haiti was very rough. Many times I had to eat off the streets and would go days with no food,” said Madisyn.
As a young boy, Watson was abandoned by his biological parents and left alone in the streets of Haiti. A group of missionaries found him and helped him find an adoptive family. After Madisyn’s mother passed away, she was put up for adoption, as well. As fate would have it, their paths crossed in 2014 at Anderson University.
“I contacted Watson to help me raise funds to go back to Haiti to reconnect with my biological family, and by November of that same year Watson asked me to be his girlfriend. On June 25, 2016, Watson and I got married and are livingly happily ever after,” said Madisyn.
Watson and Madisyn both felt the need to give back to the country they came from.
The couple founded a nonprofit organization called the Beyond Me Initiative that uses asset-based community development to support Haiti.
“When we focus solely on meeting the needs of people, we often neglect to help them use their unique gifts to create prosperity for themselves. No independent and thriving country can run solely on foreign aid and charity,” said Madisyn. “We want to support the local initiatives of the people to become self-sustaining. I cater Haitian food in Indianapolis and the surrounding area to raise funds, and Watson handles the marketing and music aspect of Beyond Me.”
Watson has advice for people seeking true love:
“When we have disagreements, we sit down and talk about it. If we cannot come to an agreement right then, we try again when we are both calm. We do not leave the house or to go bed without talking things through,” said Watson. “Always remember to put the other person before yourself. If you believe in something bigger than yourself, make that the center of your relationship, and find ways you can make a positive impact in the world together.”
A rocky start: Brittany and Rashad Cunningham
Rashad and Brittany Cunningham were both high school students when they met during the summer of 1999 at a carnival in Brownsburg, Indiana.
“My brother and I were there strictly to get digits and see who could walk away with the most numbers saved in our fake, deactivated cellphones. TLC had dropped the song ‘No Scrubs’ earlier that year, making it hard for any guy to have a chance with a lady if he came incorrect,” said Rashad.
Brittany, a high school freshman at the time, was enjoying the festivities with a friend when Rashad approached her. Rashad remembers her as seemingly shy and uninterested. Nevertheless, she gave him her pager number and asked him to call her later.
“It’s amazing to look back and see that would turn into what we have today. In my mind, this was going to be another ‘notch on the belt.’ Back then, the only thing that mattered was bragging to my brother and our friends, but she was different.”
Years later they married, but their marriage had a very rocky start due to Rashad’s infidelity and the racial discrimination that they both faced. Rashad recalled a time when two men called his wife a “n***** lover” at a gas station while their daughter was in the car with them. He also said his mother disapproved of him entering an interracial relationship.
“Brownsburg was a predominately white community. My mother was the definition of pro-Black. My wife had the strength to hold on through all of my cheating and my mother disapproving of our relationship.”
Brittany says there were times she wanted to throw in the towel on their union.
“I was so consumed with sadness that I began to think that the way we were living was normal. I accepted the cheating and chalked it up to me not being good enough. I used to tell myself I needed to stick it out because I wanted (our daughter) to be brought up in a two-parent household,” said Brittany.
In April of 2011, Brittany approached Rashad and told him she wanted a divorce, but something held them back from filing the papers.
“Her literal words were, ‘I stayed with you on hope, a prayer, and my fingers crossed.’ I am so thankful she did. Maybe it was her hope that made me believe that with God all things are possible, including me having my life turned upside down for the good,” said Rashad.
Brittany credits their relationships transformation to Rashad surrendering his life to Christ five years ago and breaking a lot of bad habits.
“Not to get all preachy, but our marriage is at its strongest because of where we are with our faith. I can’t really put into words the transformation I witnessed in Rashad, but it was scary. I don’t know if the Holy Spirit put him in a headlock or God said ‘Cash me outside!’ But in all seriousness, patience played a huge part in our relationship and still does today. We have definitely had hard times. I must say we are some of the most resilient people I know,” said Brittany.
Today, Rashad is a pastor at Church on the Rock Baptist in Brownsburg. The couple has advice for others seeking long-lasting love:
“When we are reminded of our history, when we see the problems of Richard Loving and Mildred Jeter, who went through far more to legalize marriages like ours, the small things become unnecessary to fight over,” said Rashad. “We are still in Brownsburg. It is still a community struggling to engage the cultural differences that exist among us. As my wife and I look back, we realize that through all the years of learning from each other, God was preparing us for leading others to break down barriers with love. Our marriage lasted because we allowed Christ to break down barriers caused by this fallen world and ourselves.”
