When difficulties arise in personal relationships, they can have a negative cascading effect that impacts families, communities and even society in general.
Pastor Jeffrey A. Johnson Sr. addresses those difficulties in Song of Solomon: Love, Sex and Relationships.
The book deals mostly with the interpersonal complexities in marriage relationships that can sometimes get in the way of love, communication, trust and emotional and physical intimacy. It also offers practical advice to single individuals seeking the right mate as well as those who are recovering from broken relationships.
Johnson, senior pastor of Eastern Star Church in Indianapolis, said he wrote the book because he realizes that marriages and relationships of all types are the glue that holds society together from a social and spiritual perspective.
“When that glue doesn’t stick, then we start seeing aspects of our society falling apart,” he said.
Johnson added that he has noticed recent statistics which indicated that more than 60 percent of marriages are ending in divorce and over 60 percent of babies are born to single parents. He also believes that Christian singles are facing numerous challenges and often end up having more sex than married couples.
“I thought that somebody should get back to the word of God and what his design for marriages, relationships and friendships is all about,” he said.
The book is based on a series of sermons on relationships that Johnson has delivered in response to the numerous concerns expressed by people he has counseled during 29 years in ministry.
Throughout the 283-page book Johnson uses examples from the biblical book of the Song of Songs, which details the love affair between a couple from courtship to marriage. Johnson noted that for centuries the couple has offered great examples on how to build lasting marriages and develop relationships that glorify God.
In addition to biblical references, Johnson also uses modern examples and the experiences of his own 21-year marriage to wife Sharon to inspire men to give women what they need in a marriage — communication, appreciation, affection, financial security and physical protection — and motivate women to give men what they need — respect, a pleasing attitude and pleasant home environment and physical intimacy.
While discussing the need for unconditional love, Johnson wrote that married couples should love each other regardless of imperfections.
“While you are waiting for your spouse to change remember that you didn’t deserve God’s love either,” he wrote. “It was while we were still jacked-up, messed up sinners that God loved us and did what he needed to do to set us free. That kind of agape love will last through the longest night.”
As an example of his advice for singles, Johnson encourages people to let go of the baggage of past relationships in order to get prepared for the new person God has for them.
“The only way you’re going to find the one you’re supposed to be with is by putting everyone else behind you,” he tells readers. “Until you do this you’ll never be able to receive the one God has placed right in front of you.”
Also, in a departure from most other Christian books that deal with marriage, Johnson’s material discusses in detail how sex and physical intimacy can be maximized among married couples.
Johnson said he has already received great responses from people nationwide who have read the book, which may also be purchased with a study guide for groups. He has been called to speak at numerous churches and events at the invitation of people who have used the book in group discussions and on a personal level.
Johnson, who has served as pastor of Eastern Star Church since 1988 and led it to over 10,000 members with three locations, three church plants and numerous outreach ministries, is known for his eloquent but uncomplicated speaking style.
He replicates that style in the book, writing in a manner that should satisfy the most learned scholar, but also touch the heart of the layman who wants to quickly get down to the bottom line.
“My hope is that people will be able to take these principles and apply them in a practical way that will help them understand relationships and how we operate in them,” Johnson said. “When we understand our relationship with God through his son Jesus Christ and get our personal relationships right, it will be a blessing to our homes and our community.”
