Close to 60 years ago, the former Lena McSwine first laid eyes on her future husband, Donald.
“I saw him one day in his yard and I asked his brother who he was. He was stooping down with his Navy uniform on and I guess he looked kind of appealing,” laughs Lena.
“She used to walk by every day and look,” mentioned Donald, who is a Tennessee native. “She wore this dress with a ribbon on the back and we used to call it ‘the Continental Kit’ because it resembled the Lincoln.”
Years later Lena, 18, and Donald, 21, were formally introduced when she moved next door to his cousin. The two began spending an abundance of time together and one of their fondest memories of dating is attending the drive-in movie theater.
Today, the couple has been married for 56 years.
“We went through a lot of things others go through. You have your ups and your downs and life goes on, but we always work through it,” said Donald.
Sitting at their country-style breakfast table in their home on the city’s Eastside, the pair reminisced about the troubling times they experienced and overcame.
Early on, the newlyweds struggled financially and didn’t have many things to call their own.
Fortunately, Donald began working for Pepsi Co., where he remained for about six years, then he eventually found a more secure position with General Motors where he was employed for more than 40 years. In 1968, the two purchased their first home and later raised six children, four boys and two girls.
“Our good days outweighed our bad days and you have to learn how to work through things and get over them,” explained Lena. “There were some hard times but we were determined to not let that get the best of us.”
She believes no matter how long two people have known one another, there is always room to learn more.
The couple playfully bickered as they attempted to explain their reasoning on resolving disagreements.
“I always say I’m willing to listen, but you have to win me over. If you don’t, I’m going my way,” said Donald. “But you have to learn to shut your mouth when you’re mad because hurtful words can last a lifetime.”
“We have went to bed mad, but when Christ comes into your life, then you learn that’s not the appropriate thing to do because tomorrow isn’t promised,” added Lena. “If you come to an agreement before the end of the day, that’s best.”
With time, the couple has given one another space and have claimed various parts of their residence as their own, yet continue to enjoy doing activities together such as watching TV and dining out.
However, watching sports is a whole new ball game.
“We have to watch sports in different rooms if we’re both rooting for opposite teams. I can hear her hollering in the other room when her team is winning and it agitates me a little and I may get up and slam the door,” laughs Donald. “She is my partner, my equal partner. Not 49, 51 but my equal partner because she’s been there for me.”
Donald recalls a time he was very ill and could barely walk. He said when sickness strikes, that’s when love really shows.
“That’s when you realize everyone needs somebody. Not only do I love her for what she is doing, but also I love her for what she has done and I can trust her for what she’s going to do. It’s really good to know you have a plan B or a backup because sometimes those plan A’s don’t work.”
They agree that special occasions shouldn’t wait for holidays. They often invite their children, 13 grandchildren and six great-grandchildren to their home for quality time.
The two say they believe in taking nothing for granted and truly following the path God has laid out for them.
Lena has some tips for young couples.
“Learn not to take a lot of outside advice,” she said. “People have a tendency to get jealous when they see you’re being successful or showing as the ‘perfect ideal couple.’ Just take it slow and show interest in one other. Although it may be hard sometimes, try to give them a reason not to doubt you. Start out your marriage the way you want it to end.”
The couple also think planning for a family is important in today’s society.
“So many people get married and begin having children right off the bat and I think you need to give yourself at least three years or more and enjoy each other. Go places and do things together. Then when the children come along, they’re not taking anything away from you,” she said.
“One of the biggest lessons is learning there isn’t ‘mine’ or ‘yours’ anymore because now it’s ‘ours,’” said Donald. “We have practically experienced everything in life that a normal couple would and we’ve truly been blessed.”
