Now that school is back in session, eager young minds in classrooms all over are receiving education in mathematics, English, history and a variety of other subjects. The month of October, recognized as Sexuality Education Awareness Month, is an excellent time for parents and educators to teach children about another very important subject — sexual abuse.
Statistically, one in five girls and one in 20 boys is a victim of child sexual abuse, and according to Black Women’s Blueprint Inc., 60 percent of Black girls experience sexual assault before the age of 18.
Jessica Hood, licensed clinical social worker and child therapist, said preventative measures should begin with educating children about their bodies and about sex as soon as possible.
“One of the things I make sure I do is tell parents that from a really young age, they need to use the correct anatomical terms for body parts — penis, breasts, labia, etc.” Through her experience working with the Department of Child Services, children’s accounts of abuse would often get lost in translation, as they’d refer to body parts by other names, such as “cookie” instead of “vagina.”
“That’s something that happens with a lot more frequency than it should,” she said.
In addition to teaching proper terminology, Hood urges parents to speak about sex in a comfortable and unashamed manner.
“As a parent, you have to be comfortable talking to your kids about sex — children need to feel that they can talk to (you) about anything.”
She added that educators play a huge role in this as well by noticing signs that may pop up in a student’s school work or behavior, and reporting anything that seems out of sorts to the proper authorities. “Teachers spend eight hours a day with kids, sometimes more. Most of them are trained — and if they’re not, they should be — to notice some of the signs of sexual abuse,” Hood said.
Some of these signs include: a sudden change in eating habits, mood swings, writings or drawings that depict sexual or frightening images, refusal to talk about a secret shared with an adult or older child, and adult-like sexual behaviors, language and knowledge.
Krav Maga Worldwide, a leading self-defense organization, offers these tips on what to teach children in case they are involved in an attack and also tips for preventing attacks.
1. Begin talking to them as young as 2 years old. This may seem very early, but children under 12 are most at risk at 4 years old. Even if they can’t speak well, children at this age are busy figuring out the world. And they certainly understand and remember a lot more than adults usually realize.
2. Share the only instances when their private parts can be seen and touched. An age appropriate concept for a young child to understand is that nobody — including a parent or caregiver — should see or touch their private parts (what a swimming suit covers up) unless they’re keeping them clean, safe or healthy.
3. Talk openly about sexuality and sexual abuse to teach your child that these topics do not need to be “secret.” Abusers will sometimes tell a child that the abuse should be kept a secret. Let your child know that if someone is touching him or her or talking to him or her in ways that make him or her uncomfortable or scared, that it should not stay a secret.
4. Inform your child about the tricks used by sexual predators, such as continued accidental touching, or tricking the child into thinking there is an emergency and that the child must go with the predator.
5. Teach children that they must trust their inner voice. Many children who have been sexually abused describe a feeling of discomfort as having a “yucky” feeling inside. You must teach your child to trust or honor their inner voice ,or that “yucky” feeling.
6. Teach your child that they have the right to say no. As the majority of child abuse is based on coercion rather than force, teaching your child to say no strongly and forcefully can make a big difference in many situations.
