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The do’s and don’ts of family reunions

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A sense of belonging, a thirst for knowledge and love are reasons why families everywhere make annual pilgrimages throughout the United States and abroad to reconnect with kinfolk.

Some 82 million Americans will participate in family reunions this year, according to Budget Travel Magazine, which notes that 44 percent of leisure trips taken by African Americans include family visits.

While African Americans have long prized family gatherings, “Roots,” the 1977 televised miniseries, caused a surge in more detailed, organized and even elaborate family reunions in the 1980s and 1990s, says Ione Vargus, a professor and dean emerita at Temple University who founded and directs it’s Family Reunion Institute.

“After Roots, people got very motivated to seek out their own family genealogy,” says Vargus, “It was like a movement. I saw it as a strength of the Black family.”

Bottom line, planning family reunions is hard work. To put the finishing touches on this year’s reunion or to get a head start on next year’s, Vargus has developed some steps and tips to ensure that the gathering will be a success.

Ten steps

for planning

a family reunion

1Form a planning committee of about six people 18 months to a year before. Include young people. Send a communication that a family reunion is being planned. Include a survey that asks for preferences regarding accommodations, dates and costs.

2Do some preliminary thinking. Think of the who, what, when and where. Who will come, where will it be held, when will it be held and what will you do. Also, how many days will it be?

3Compile a list of relatives with names, addresses, phone numbers, and e-mail addresses. Arrange alphabetically.

4 Designate responsibilities to different members of the host family or committee: Hotel or site; program development; registration; communications; transportation; food; memorabilia or souvenirs; youth development (special activities for youth); or fundraising.

5Select location and facility. Can people get to the location from the airport or train station? Will you need meeting space, hospitality room, banquet room, group meals, and picnic equipment? Can the hotel and other places where activities will be held accommodate the disabled, particularly those in wheel chairs?

6After the site and date have been determined, communicate this information. Outline different options for activities and ask for family interests. Mention if there will be additional fees.

7Figure out how you’re going to raise money to pay for up-front expenses such as postage, duplicating, stationary, telephone use, and deposits for hotel, food, transportation or other services.

8Develop a program from responses of the family. Send registration form and indicate final payment date.

9Six-to four-weeks ahead, send out another communication regarding final plans and agenda. If people haven’t paid registration fees, and made facility reservations, urge them to do so immediately.

10One-to two-weeks before reunion, confirm all hotel and facility arrangements, payments, activities and other details. Verify transportation arrangements if people are flying in from out of town and the location is not easily accessible.

Roberts Settlement descendants

The Roberts family can be traced back to James Roberts, who in the 1700s left Africa as a hired valet to Lord Roberts, a wealthy North Carolina plantation owner. When Lord Roberts died, James Roberts inherited the plantation and took the Roberts name as his own. In the 1820s, he and his family decided to move away from slavery in their native North Carolina and found their way into Hamilton County, Ind.

Three family reunion don’ts

1. Don’t be intimidated by what other families are doing at their reunions. They may have been at it a long time.

2. Don’t overextend yourself. If this is the first reunion, don’t be too expansive.

3. Don’t book hotel reservations for people. Have family members make their own.

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