The past few years have been weird — very weird. Time doesn’t seem to exist anymore. A pandemic hit the world which includes over 6.6 million deaths worldwide and almost 1.1 million deaths in the U.S. alone. We’ve seen depression, anxiety and stress steadily increase, especially among our youth. Therapy and medications for the latter have become the norm. Our friends and family are experiencing the holidays without our loved ones — some of us for the first time, others for the umpteenth time.
Yet so many other forms of grief exist — loss of a job, change in insurance benefits, layoffs, change in financial status accompanied with inflation, infertility, divorce or breakup, environmental changes, betrayal, microaggressions, racism, sexism and the list goes on.
Many are hurting this season. The truth of the matter is grief can happen at any time throughout the year, but it seems to magnify during the holidays when we are used to being around our loved ones. The memories of sitting around the tree opening gifts, hours of laughter, going to candlelight services, riding around the neighborhood looking at all the Christmas lights, singing Christmas carols, playing family games, eating all day, staying up all night and waking up late the next morning.
So how do we get through this season? In talking with my therapist the other day, she advised me to JUST BE. Instead of focusing on being busy, taking on yet another task or thinking about what’s next in my life, that I should remain still, be present and honest with myself and allow God to pour into me. Spend time with my family and friends, cry if I needed to, journal, sing, dance, exercise, eat the chocolate, reminisce … whatever it takes for me to be true to myself in the healing process. After talking with her, I developed a list of recommendations to help you during this season. Give yourself permission to:
BE comforted
“All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort — we get a full measure of that, too.” -2 Corinthians 1:3-5, Message Bible
BE grateful
“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive — to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” -Marcus Aurelius
BE intentional
“Whenever you say yes to something, there is less of you for something else. Make sure your yes is worth the less.” -Lisa TerKeurst, “The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands”
BE kind
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” -Ephesians 4:32, NIV
BE still
“He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don’t get tired, they walk and don’t lag behind.” -Isaiah 40:29-31, Message Bible
BE a light
“You are the light of the world… Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to Your Father who is in heaven.” -Matthew 5:14-16, ESV
Lord, please touch, heal and deliver your people. I understand that some of our grief is uncontrollable and hurt people hurt people, but I pray that your spirit reign, hearts and minds are mended, and lives are changed. Allow us to show grace to each other, including ourselves. May we feel your presence this holiday season, celebrate the savior’s birth, and just BE.
Leslie Nicole Smith is a women’s life coach, public speaker and community leader. To contact Leslie, email Leslienicolespeaks@gmail.com.
