Each morning, we wake up and give ourselves a pep talk.
We look in the mirror and, like that little train trying to go up the hill, we repeat over and over, “I think I can, I think I can…” Then as we get hyped (you all know what I mean), that simple “I think I can” turns into a full-blown “I KNOW I CAN … I KNOW I CAN!” And we believe it with all of our heart. We know we can, and we head out the door ready to face the day and tackle whatever obstacles and opportunities come our way. Then suddenly, out of nowhere — BAM! — you are hit in the head by a negative tweet, a crazy Facebook post or someone calling you out to your face.
When did we decide as a community that it’s OK to be so negative and judgmental? Seriously. I remember when there was a middle ground, and when people couldn’t agree, they worked together to find that middle ground and to compromise. What happened to viewing situations through the eyes of the optimist and embracing the “the glass is half-full” way of thinking? What happened to the phrase, “I’m not judging”? It seems as if it’s turned into “I’m not judging … but.”
At some point in time, society has given Negative Nana, Nancy NoNo and Nasty Nelly the green light to take over, and her mean-spiritedness and judgmental ways have become contagious. I know what people say about sticks and stones, but to be honest, while the rhyme goes on to say words will never hurt you … they do. Words hurt, and we must be careful of how, when and where we use them.
We don’t live in a perfect world, and every day or every situation isn’t going to bring us the outcome we expect. Sometimes it feels as though there is chaos swarming all around us. That is when we really must be careful, because it’s hard to see the silver lining or even the middle ground when chaos rears her ugly head.
But during those times, particularly when it’s hard to see the situation clearly, we can’t waste precious time judging others or questioning their motives. At some point, we have to find the middle ground and respect viewpoints that are different than our own. While we may not agree, we have to move from a spirit of questioning and criticism to a partnership of support and understanding. Our very survival depends on this.
If you feel the need to weigh in on a situation that you don’t particularly agree with, by all means let your voice be heard. But remember, communication is two-way. So before you form an opinion, make an assumption or publicly embarrass or criticize someone, why not take a moment to talk to them and truly listen to what they are saying? While you may not agree, you may develop an understanding and realize you are both as equally committed and passionate about the situation.
There is no reason for us to be so hard on one another. There really isn’t. We need to support and uplift each other rather than tearing people down.
So, watch those stones you’re throwing at others. As you turn your back to make that throw, you might find your house of glass has become a target in someone’s eyes.
Maggie A. Lewis is president of the Indianapolis City-County Council.
